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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Chinglish Oktoberfest
If you don’t have any plans next week and you’re going to be in Shanghai, perhaps you’d be interested in attending an Oktoberfest celebration. I received the advertisement below from a local restaurant, and I’m excited to attend the celebration, but my one concern is that I’ve lived in Germany and attended Oktoberfest many times […]
Posted in: Chinglish
Saturday Surprise
October 15, 2011
A father remembers the moment when after years of letting his son win, the kid sprints past him and wins all on his own. Most of this ‘allowing to win’ pertains to sports and board games but not video games since babies today are born with advanced Super Mario skills far exceeding those of their […]
Posted in: Columns
Republicans Scramble to Defuse High-Five-Gate Controversy
October 15, 2011
Once again the Republican party is scrambling to shake off charges of elitism after a new scandal threatens attempts to appeal to the common man before the 2012 election. For years reporters have been asking multimillionaire Republicans ‘Gotcha’ questions to put them on the spot and prove they don’t understand the plight of average Americans. […]
Posted in: Breaking News Fixed
The Fonz is All Ears…Unless You’re Calling His Name
October 13, 2011
As a child I remember being reprimanded a lot for not listening, as though turning off my ears had been a conscious decision. Adults swore they had told me something important, and I had nodded acknowledgement, but all details of the conversation eluded me. I remember a lot of conversations ending with, “Do you understand […]
Posted in: Family
Dear Good Greatsby: Smell Ya Later. Or Not, Because I Have No Sense of Smell.
October 12, 2011
(The Good Greatsby would appreciate any Halloween related questions concerning the ghost haunting your garbage disposal, the ghoul in your office microwave, or the skeletons in your closet. Submit a question in 100 words or less on the Dear Good Greatsby page.) Today’s question comes from Joe Knight who seeks an explanation for his lack […]
Posted in: Dear Good Greatsby
Smack Talk 101: Can I get you a bowl of smackaroni and cheese?
October 11, 2011
Smack talk is not my strong suit. Some people think half the fun of a fantasy football league is sending taunting emails and texts to other players, but I’ve never liked mean humor and I have a hard time getting into the spirit of being one of the guys while worrying about crossing the line. […]
Posted in: Columns
The Search Engine Oracle Speaks, Clears Throat, Reiterates
October 10, 2011
Some seemingly innocent search terms keep me up late at night: guess how much i love you At first, I assumed this was a random search, but I found it more satisfying to convince myself I had a secret admirer. Secret admirer, guessing how much I love you is pretty hard without knowing who you […]
Posted in: Columns
Eye on Chinglish
October 9, 2011
This picture comes from the back of an eyelash thickener: Maybe I just never paid attention to eyelash thickener products when I was in America, but is there really an American eyelash limit? If so, it seems the government should have better things to do than set limits on the freedom of our eyelashes. This […]
Posted in: Chinglish
Saturday Brain Biscuits & Gravy
October 8, 2011
My seven-year-old son, The Fonz, is very interested in zombies right now, and when he overheard me mention I had watched an episode of the AMC zombie show, The Walking Dead, he started asking if he could watch it despite my warnings it was much too scary. I finally let him watch an advertisement for […]
Posted in: Columns
Ruminations Over Underdogs Over Overdogs
October 7, 2011
Every year during the baseball playoffs, my son and I debate what we enjoy more: 1. Cheering for our favorite team to win; or 2. Cheering for the New York Yankees to lose. The Germans have a word, shadenfreude, which means taking delight in the misfortunes of others. Many philosophers consider feelings of shadenfreude to […]
Posted in: Columns
Palin Runs Out of Reasons to Run
October 6, 2011
Former VP candidate, half-term Alaska governor, reality TV star, Fox News analyst, and frequent ‘You betcha!’ utterer, Sarah Palin announced she wasn’t running for President to a room full of yawns. The news came as no surprise to the reporters at The Good Greatsby who realized she never intended to run from the time this […]
Posted in: Breaking News Fixed
Dear Good Greatsby: Does My Pet Dove Poop on My Computer Because She Hates My Writing?
October 5, 2011
Today’s question comes from Spectra of spectrumwoman.com, who wonders whether her pet dove is expressing distaste for her writing by pooping on her computer. Because the question regards pets, my cat, Megatron, has volunteered to be a guest panelist. When I say she volunteered, I mean I’ll chase her back and forth across my keyboard. […]
Posted in: Dear Good Greatsby
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