Browsing All posts tagged under »politics«

Prelude to Five People Asking for Hand Sanitizer

October 5, 2012


Are you new? Something about you seems different than the people who normally work here. I can honestly say, of all the presidential candidates I’ve ever met, you’re the first. Please tell me I’m not the only one who can see this guy. Is it just me or did a rich, white guy just appear? […]

Four More Years! Four More Years!

September 6, 2012


Tonight President Obama will give his keynote address at the Democratic National Convention and you could play a drinking game based on the number of times the crowd will break into the chant “Four-More-Years! Four-More-Years!” We Americans love a good chant because you get the emotional high of being part of a team, but without […]

Greatsby’s Presidential Endorsement Challenge

August 15, 2012


The American presidential race is in full swing and I know both campaigns are looking to The Good Greatsby to offer an endorsement and possibly change the momentum of the race. Because both campaigns are laboring to avoid talk of any actual issues so they can avoid being labelled as ‘standing for something’, I’m having […]

Mitt Romney Never Lies Down on the Jobs

July 20, 2012


Mitt Romney would like you to believe he’s the presidential candidate most qualified to create jobs. But in an exclusive interview, sources inside the Romney camp have revealed a dark side to Romney’s jobs plan: Yes, he has a plan to add hundreds of thousands of jobs. But, he plans to fill every one of […]

Not-So-Healthy Headlines

June 25, 2012


This week the United States Supreme Court is expected to hand down its ruling on President Obama’s healthcare act. If the bill is overturned, many Americans will joyfully cheer its defeat, despite it being the first serious effort to correct a system that allows Americans to rank #37 in healthcare and #38 in life expectancy, […]

Bully for Bully Michelle Obama’s Use of Bully Pulpit

May 18, 2012


I knew Michelle Obama was a tall woman, but this picture of her standing next to the 6’0″ tall soccer star, David Beckham, truly puts her staggering height in perspective. By analyzing her body language, it’s clear this picture was taken while Michelle was in the middle of bullying Beckham. The firm hand on his […]

Hey, Mitt, Make Me Your VP

May 9, 2012


Dear Mitt Romney, I hear you might be looking for a vice president. Allow me to suggest the following potential candidates: 1. Steve Jobs’ ghost–I know some intolerant Americans may complain about a ghost occupying such a high office, especially because ghosts don’t pay taxes, but Jobs might be the one ghost everyone could get behind […]

Super Tuesday Founding Fathers Super Trivia

March 6, 2012


Today is Super Tuesday in America when Republicans will hold their largest primary. Excitement is high as Republicans hope that after three years of campaigning, fundraising, rallying, and spending hundreds of millions of dollars, they can finally settle on a candidate nobody is excited about. For international readers who may not be familiar with America’s […]

Trump Endorses Romney, May Sway Multimillionaire Blowhard Voting Bloc

February 7, 2012


Donald Trump’s endorsement of Mitt Romney for President really shouldn’t be much of a surprise considering the startling similarities between the two men. Excerpts from Trump’s endorsement: “I actually offered my endorsement to all the candidates but Romney was the only one who would agree to accept the endorsement while standing behind a lectern with […]

America Moons Over 51st State

February 1, 2012


Republican Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich has proposed establishing a space colony on the moon by 2020, and has even gone so far as to suggest the Moon could become America’s 51st state. His chief opponent Mitt Romney dismissed the idea as a transparent ploy to capitalize on the Moon’s lower gravity in hopes of artificially […]

Obama Carries Softly and Speaks a Big Stick

November 15, 2011


In matters of international diplomacy, US President Theodore Roosevelt was famous for coining the phrase, “Speak softly and carry a big stick.” This is the version found in most history books, although Roosevelt’s version underwent several rough drafts before he got it just right: “Dance seductively while swinging a hangman’s noose.” “Speak softly while holding […]

Mustache-less Candidates Race to Get Their Grow On

November 14, 2011


Just when it seemed things couldn’t get any worse for Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain following a series of sexual harassment accusations, Cain has now lost the coveted endorsement of the American Mustache Institute. Cain Keeps Stiff Upper Lip After Losing Endorsement of Hairy Upper Lip The American Mustache Institute had first planned to stand […]