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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All Posts filed under »Columns«
Hot Investment Tip: Put All Your Savings into Gratuities
January 19, 2016
Some people take restaurant service very seriously. You may have noticed these are also the people who take themselves very seriously. If you’ve ever spent the evening in the company of a self-appointed service industry critic, you quickly realize the dressing down of a 19-year-old waitress is a much greater strain on the evening than […]
Stop Trying to Prove Doctors Wrong
August 12, 2015
I came across a headline that read ‘The World’s Most Precise Clock Could Prove Einstein Wrong’. Apparently a clockmaker invented an atomic clock so precise that it could disprove some of Einstein’s theories on the constancy of certain physical properties. Guys like this clockmaker annoy me to no end. Don’t you hate those people who […]
Intern Wanted
June 12, 2014
Do you have what it takes to join The Good Greatsby team? The Good Greatsby, aka Paul Johnson, has fallen behind on maintaining his blog and is looking for a talented, hard-working intern to do all the work of maintaining this site while Paul continues to do all the work of taking credit for this […]
And That’s a Wrap: 2013
January 14, 2014
At the end of 2011 I posted a summary of my year: And That’s a Wrap I meant to do the same at the end of 2012 but I got distracted watching Game of Thrones and forgot to do anything in 2012. 2013 In January I started writing the back page Slice of Life humor […]
Goodbye, Megatron
January 7, 2014
After eight years of constantly being startled, our cat Megatron died two days before Christmas. I’ve loved animals all my life and have had dozens of pets over the years, but I spent more time with Megatron than any of them. I worked from home for six of her eight years and she spent anywhere […]
Scientists Prove What’s the Matter with Kids Today
December 16, 2013
In a study sponsored by your parents, scientists have revealed kids today can’t run as fast or as far as their parents. I didn’t need a study to tell me that. My children’s tear-streaked, dust-covered faces way back there in the distance tell all. As far as I understand, this study considers my generation to […]
Why Aren’t People Talking About Me Behind My Back?
September 30, 2013
They say ‘success breeds envy,’ and I spend a lot of time wondering: If I’m as successful as I think, why aren’t more people envious of me? And when I say ‘why aren’t more people envious of me?’ I could just as easily write, ‘why aren’t any people envious of me?’ And why aren’t more […]
Money Can’t Buy You Happiness…But It Can Get You Awfully Close
July 25, 2013
They say money can’t buy happiness, but I’m willing to give it a try. And how do scientists even know whether money can buy happiness without conducting empirical research on a subject, possibly someone like myself who volunteers to be given a million dollars a year for the rest of his life? I’d do it. […]
I’ve Had a Lovely Time…But This Wasn’t It
July 19, 2013
A recent study confirmed what our gut was already telling us: Baseball is pretty boring. A Wall Street Journal study estimates the typical 3-hour game contains more than two and a half hours of waiting and only 17 minutes and 58 seconds of actual action. This means 90% of a baseball game is spent standing […]
A Letter from J.K. Rowling
July 16, 2013
This week, author J.K. Rowling revealed she had written a detective novel, Cuckoo’s Calling, under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith. For those of you unfamiliar with J.K. Rowling, some might say she is best known as the author of the book The Casual Vacancy. Although many more might say she’s even better known as the author […]
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