Republicans Scramble to Defuse High-Five-Gate Controversy

Posted on October 15, 2011


Once again the Republican party is scrambling to shake off charges of elitism after a new scandal threatens attempts to appeal to the common man before the 2012 election.

For years reporters have been asking multimillionaire Republicans ‘Gotcha’ questions to put them on the spot and prove they don’t understand the plight of average Americans.  Many people believe the first such incident took place during the 1992 election when multimillionaire George H.W. Bush was asked the price of a gallon of milk and he seemed unfamiliar neither with the price nor with the concept of grocery stores, milk, or that liquid had been changed to gallons from the biblical standard of baths.

In actuality, the first such ‘Gotcha’ incident came when multimillionaire Theodore Roosevelt uttered his famous foreign policy slogan, “Speak softly and carry a big stick,” and was immediately asked by reporters if he could cite the current price of sticks.

More recent ‘Gotcha’ questions have included:

In 1996, Bob Dole was asked to name his favorite microwaveable pizza and whether he preferred the pizza to cook on a pan or to be placed directly on the rack.

In 2000, George Bush Jr. was asked how many ounces of soda could be held by a standard SUV cup-holder.

In 2008, John McCain was asked if he knew the price of a Seinfeld DVD boxed set.

And so far in the current GOP primary:

Rick Perry was asked if he knew the price of downloading Angry Birds from the iTunes store.

Michele Bachmann was asked to explain the privacy settings on Facebook.

Jon Huntsman was asked what president’s face was featured on the $1 bill.

The latest ‘Gotcha’ question–and the source of all the new controversy–came at the most recent Republican presidential debate when frontrunner Mitt Romney, who holds a fortune estimated in the hundreds of millions, was asked by the debate moderator, “When was the last time you gave a high five?”

Mitt claimed he gave high five all the time but looked less than convincing when the moderator asked him to demonstrate how a high five worked.