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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All posts tagged under »children«
Revenge of the Rubik’s Cube Nerds
Last weekend I accompanied my 12-year-old son as he competed in an all day Rubik’s Cube competition. It was exhausting. Not for him but for me. After just an hour my voice was already hoarse from shouting, ‘Nerd. Nerd. Nerd. You and you and you. Nerds.’ But the nerds were everywhere. My sons keep telling […]
My 11-Year-Old Tries Very, Very Hard to Explain the Plot of Inside Out
January 12, 2016
When my kids were small my wife told me I shouldn’t tease them, and I told her that it was too late to re-negotiate the terms of our agreement to have children. Teasing and its potential for producing comedy material was one of the strongest ‘pros’ in the reproduction column. Unfortunately, as the kids have […]
5 Tips for Surviving Your Child’s Christmas Pageant
December 21, 2015
For those of you who don’t have children and are spending wild nights out on the town, parenting may not seem very exciting or glamorous, but, it isn’t. Although parenting has its rewards. I’ve heard. At least that’s what all the parenting books say. Not that I’ve read any parenting books, but my wife put […]
And That’s a Wrap: 2013
January 14, 2014
At the end of 2011 I posted a summary of my year: And That’s a Wrap I meant to do the same at the end of 2012 but I got distracted watching Game of Thrones and forgot to do anything in 2012. 2013 In January I started writing the back page Slice of Life humor […]
Scientists Prove What’s the Matter with Kids Today
December 16, 2013
In a study sponsored by your parents, scientists have revealed kids today can’t run as fast or as far as their parents. I didn’t need a study to tell me that. My children’s tear-streaked, dust-covered faces way back there in the distance tell all. As far as I understand, this study considers my generation to […]
When I Was a Kid Things Were Tough
November 1, 2013
When I was a kid things were tough–so much tougher than the kids today have it. The toughest part for my generation was that it was so hard to find anybody to complain to about how tough things were. The kids today can whine once on Facebook and immediately reach hundreds of people. But when […]
The Fonz Rebrands His Brother
October 11, 2013
My twelve-year-old son Optimist Prime has always prided himself on never following the crowd and never doing something just because the popular kids say it’s cool. It has me kind of worried. The doctors tell us he should have outgrown his idealism by now. His mother and I are having a hard time making him […]
A Responsible Life is a Life Half Lived
August 22, 2013
When you’re just a kid you look at all the life ahead of you as a series of milestones: I can’t wait to be a teenager. I can’t wait to get my driver’s license. I can’t wait to get a fake driver’s license. I can’t wait to have sex for the first time. I can’t […]
I’ve Had a Lovely Time…But This Wasn’t It
July 19, 2013
A recent study confirmed what our gut was already telling us: Baseball is pretty boring. A Wall Street Journal study estimates the typical 3-hour game contains more than two and a half hours of waiting and only 17 minutes and 58 seconds of actual action. This means 90% of a baseball game is spent standing […]
Dear Parents of Our Son’s Best Friend: Did You Hear Your Son Called Us the Coolest Parents?
May 2, 2013
Dear Parents of My Son’s Best Friend, As you may have heard, your son was visiting our home last week when he told our son, “You have the coolest parents.” If you hadn’t heard this news yet, maybe you should check your texts more often because I’ve sent you like twenty. This must be a […]
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