Browsing All Posts filed under »Dear Good Greatsby«

Dear Good Greatsby: Babysitter or Baby Sicker

August 8, 2012


Today’s question comes from Heather at Beaches & Peaches. Heather: I have a baby, and yesterday the babysitter for this baby showed up very sick. How do you deal with this situation? I pretended to walk a block and then came back in the apartment and told her I’d acted too soon, and actually wasn’t […]

Dear Good Greatsby: Do You Ever Worry About Losing Your Awesome Looks?

December 14, 2011


Dear Good Greatsby Do you ever worry about getting old or losing your awesome looks? What do you think about the men and women who obsess about it? kathrinjapan   Dear kathinjapan, The only time I ever worry about losing my looks is when I’m awake. The topic rarely enters my dreams because no matter […]

Dear Good Greatsby: Greatsby’s Homemade Gift Ideas

November 30, 2011


Today’s seasonal question comes from She’s a Maineiac, who seeks suggestions for Christmas on a budget. Dear Good Greatsby, Money is tight this holiday season, yet my kids are still expecting lots of expensive gifts. I’ve been out exhaustively hunting for great deals, but I’m fresh out of pepper spray. How can I convice them […]

Dear Good Greatsby: What’s on Your Bucket List?

November 16, 2011


The Average Person wondered about my list of things I still wanted to do before death.  I was assisted in answering her question by my personal assistant Ken, who took time from his busy schedule of not having a girlfriend. Dear Good Greatsby, Having had a lucky escape, I decided to write a bucket List. […]

Dear Good Greatsby Reveals His Fake-itude

November 2, 2011


And today’s question comes from The Daily Retort‘s Tor Constantino, who seems to be skeptical of the authenticity of The Good Greatsby’s glasses. Dear G2, Are those prescription glasses you wear in your photos or are they simply the fakey fashion kind to make you look smarter – know what I mean? Some people dress […]

Dear Good Greatsby: Help! I’m a Zombie Trying to Kick My Brains Addiction!

October 19, 2011


The first question comes from Binky of Wombania Comics who appears to be suffering an existential crisis. Dear Good Greatsby, I might be a pumpkin. What should I do? And don’t say make pie! Binky Dear Binky, Paul: During the Halloween season, psychiatrists always report an uptick in patients claiming to be pumpkins.  These patients […]

Dear Good Greatsby: Smell Ya Later. Or Not, Because I Have No Sense of Smell.

October 12, 2011


(The Good Greatsby would appreciate any Halloween related questions concerning the ghost haunting your garbage disposal, the ghoul in your office microwave, or the skeletons in your closet.  Submit a question in 100 words or less on the Dear Good Greatsby page.) Today’s question comes from Joe Knight who seeks an explanation for his lack […]

Dear Good Greatsby: Does My Pet Dove Poop on My Computer Because She Hates My Writing?

October 5, 2011


Today’s question comes from Spectra of, who wonders whether her pet dove is expressing distaste for her writing by pooping on her computer.  Because the question regards pets, my cat, Megatron, has volunteered to be a guest panelist.  When I say she volunteered, I mean I’ll chase her back and forth across my keyboard. […]

Dear Good Greatsby: Help! I Was Born With a Siamese Nostril!

September 28, 2011


Today’s question comes from HoaiPhai, who sent me a question during pollen season regarding pollen season.  Although pollen season has probably passed (I can’t say for sure because I can’t find pollen season on any official calendar and until I experience hay fever I have to say it certainly sounds like an old wives’ tale), […]

Dear Good Greatsby: How Do I Get My Husband to Realize I’m Perfect?

September 21, 2011


Today’s question comes from gojulesgo of, who worries her marriage is becoming too equal for her liking.  (If gojulesgo sounds familiar, perhaps you’ve heard from your friends Jules has her very own barn.) Dear Good Greatsby, Over the past 8 years, my husband has grown quite spoiled by my wit, generosity and what some […]

Dear Good Greatsby: How Can I Tell If My Neighbor is Dead?

September 14, 2011


Today’s questions comes from Laura of Unlikely Explanations who wonders what is the politest way to determine if her neighbor is dead. Dear Good Greatsby, This question is about my neighbors. I’ll call them Betty and Don, because those names are similar enough to Beth and Dan that I think I’ll be able to get […]

Dear Good Greatsby: Are You Secretly in Love with Me?

September 7, 2011


After numerous last minute cancellations, it falls to my assistant Ken to serve as a guest panelist and help answer the question of Kim Pugliano who seeks advice in sorting a sordid love triangle–one that a licensed therapist might call imaginary but one which this unlicensed therapist takes very seriously. Dear Good Greatsby~ How do […]