This picture comes from the back of an eyelash thickener:
'breaks through the American eyelash limit.'
Maybe I just never paid attention to eyelash thickener products when I was in America, but is there really an American eyelash limit? If so, it seems the government should have better things to do than set limits on the freedom of our eyelashes.
This photo comes from the back of an eyeliner, although I can’t be one hundred percent sure based of the product’s use based on the confusing and somewhat mystical description:
‘Also may indifferent, the cruel feeling, But also may seductive, Mystical the character and style full. The rich color effect, Lets the binocular peripheral time maintenance charm, The liquid informer effect is lasting, The carefull baby makes you draw when to changein grasping, The enhancement and a beautiful eye line, The touch temperate soft, Does not need to worry the flesh receives the injury.’
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The Good Greatsby 
She's a Maineiac
October 9, 2011
Maybe it’s because I hate makeup, but I completely understood the description. Especially, “also may indifferent, the cruel feeling” and “the flesh receives the injury”. That is usually what happens when I try to apply eyeliner, I end up stabbing myself in the eye.
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2011
It’s hard to have confidence in makeup if you’re not sure whether the advertisement is promising ‘cruel feeling’ or making guarantees against it.
k8edid
October 9, 2011
I believe I am well within the American eye lash limit, and I am giving up makeup forever.
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2011
Giving up on makeup forever is probably the safest way to guarantee never approaching the eyelash limit.
Kathryn McCullough
October 9, 2011
Hope you’ll do a post on whitening lotions. Wonder what the warnings are on those products–how they white-wash the Chinglish.
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2011
The skin whitening products definitely deserve their own post. I’ve heard they don’t work and have potentially damaging side effects regardless of whether you can understand the correct usage on the box.
Glynis Sylvia
October 11, 2011
But don’t worry about it. The flesh will receive the injury. RIght? (As opposed to what? My inner spirit feeling wounded?)
Snoring Dog Studio
October 9, 2011
Much like the sport of Korfball, you’ve got to be completely enamored of the stuff to understand the brilliant, esoteric words that describe so well the temperateness and mysticality of the eyelash thickener. Though we are just describing common cornstarch and grade school paste, it is a miracle grasping the binocular essence of time. Yeah, what that writer said.
JM Randolph
October 9, 2011
The carefull baby makes you draw. Bow Howdy, does it ever. With your limited American eye lashes.
educlaytion
October 9, 2011
Well, at least the flesh receives the injury. Phew, that’s a relief.
The Good Greatsby
October 10, 2011
It’s hard to know if the statement ‘Does not need to worry the flesh receives the injury’ is saying you won’t receive an injury or whether it’s saying you will receive an injury but you don’t need to worry about it.
gerknoop
October 9, 2011
OMGOONDESS! That last one is a bit scary! One could find themselves in a really cruel, indifferent, yet seductive mystical place! However it sounds as if the chances of getting prego using that stuff could be really HIGH, and perhaps the birth could be really tough too! It is so thoughtful of them to let the buyer know this…..”Does not need to worry the flesh receives the injury.” I think I’ll pass on this one….I don’t need anymore late in life surprises!
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2011
Once you see ‘carefull baby’ on any product, you’re wise not to take any chances.
jacquelincangro
October 9, 2011
Maybe this Chinglish will make it into that new play on Broadway. I’ll keep you posted. You’ll deserve royalties.
The Good Greatsby
October 9, 2011
I don’t require my name above lights–big sacks of money are all the reward I need.
Patricia
October 9, 2011
I think whoever wrote that is working on the health care, tax reform, and social security changes information press releases.
thelifeofjamie
October 9, 2011
it is very disturbing how badly the english language is butchered…it’s like they do a direct translation and don’t give it to anyone to edit!
gojulesgo
October 9, 2011
“Also may indifferent, the cruel feeling…” I really, REALLY want to know what that first line was supposed to mean. In the meantime, in the absence of an answer, I’m going to assume it resembles an alluring tag line, along the lines of, “Maybe she’s born with it, maybe she injures her flesh.”
Can you ask the carefull baby if I’m on the right track?
The Good Greatsby
October 10, 2011
Any woman serious about beauty has to be willing to risk her flesh receiving the injury.
Dana
October 10, 2011
“Flesh injuries: because you’re worth it!”
Glynis Sylvia
October 11, 2011
Hahahahaah !!!!!
Laura
October 10, 2011
Where can I get some of that eyeliner? The babies around here are so careless that they just ignore any efforts I make to set a changein grasping schedule, which of course messes up my binocular peripheral time maintenance.
John Erickson
October 10, 2011
Oh, I wish I still had the User’s Manual from our 1990 Subaru. It was written in Japan, and translated by a non-English speaker. One of the few bits I remember related to fuelling the vehicle.
“For to be putting into the vehicle the motor fuel, it is the filler door fuel which has to be made opened.” (To put gas in, first open the “fuel filler” door covering the gas cap.)
That was a MILD one. It took me two days to figure out how to get the jack under the vehicle! (Mind you, this car carried the spare under the hood, on a shelf over the engine. Quite the conversation starter at gas stations, when I’d open the hood to help cool the turbocharger on the engine.)
The Good Greatsby
October 10, 2011
I’ve heard stories of those old Japanese auto user’s manuals–pretty funny unless you find yourself on the side of the road in an emergency and can’t understand where the jack is hidden.
thesinglecell
October 10, 2011
“Also may indifferent, the cruel feeling, But also may seductive, Mystical the character” describes a boyfriend I had once. He majored in English, but would have written this sentence almost this exact same way.
HoaiPhai
October 10, 2011
Ahhh, the mysterious Orient!
Olivia K
October 10, 2011
These always make me wonder what the back of my shampoo bottle “really says” in French.
pegoleg
October 10, 2011
‘Also may indifferent, the cruel feeling, But also may seductive, Mystical the character and style full.’ This is pure poetry! It’s obvious the poor grunt toiling away on Shanghai’s Madison Ave is a frustrated word artist. I may stitch those lines on a needlepoint sampler.
Louise
October 11, 2011
That is too funny! Fortune cookies also give some funny “chinglish” translations.
Thanks for sharing.
Cheers,
Louise
pattisj
October 11, 2011
That does it, I’m throwing away my eye make-up. My touch temperate soft IS worried.
pearlsandprose
October 12, 2011
Yikes, sounds like they’re using machine translation. Not exactly foolproof yet.
barkinginthedark
October 13, 2011
bizarre should very eyelash be on putting good. continue…
modestypress
October 15, 2011
You will suffer the punishment of a thousand lashes.
Lunar Euphoria
October 17, 2011
I wonder about the penalties imposed on those who break the American eyelash limit.