Browsing All posts tagged under »Barack Obama«

America No Longer Fattest Nation! Cupholder Layoffs Expected

July 10, 2013


At a recent healthy lunch event for children hosted by Michelle Obama at the White House, one of the kids asked President Obama his favorite food and the president answered, “Broccoli.” If any of the children had asked his favorite hobbies, I wonder if he would have answered, “Homework and going to bed early.” But […]

The Presidential Debate on Mute

October 17, 2012


I didn’t watch last night’s presidential debate, or the previous presidential debate, but I did make the minimal effort to stay informed by reviewing pictures from the debates. The pictures allow me to imagine my own version of how I wish the debates had gone, and you’d be surprised how much more positive you feel […]

Presidential Campaigns: ‘Lower Your Expectations’ Voters: ‘Our Expectations Were Already Pretty Low’

October 3, 2012


The first presidential debate is scheduled for tonight and Americans everywhere are anxiously looking forward to not watching. After they finish not watching the debates, they’ll appease their civic guilt by checking the news for coverage of the debates so media pundits can tell them who won, similar to checking a sports score. Crowning the […]

Four More Years! Four More Years!

September 6, 2012


Tonight President Obama will give his keynote address at the Democratic National Convention and you could play a drinking game based on the number of times the crowd will break into the chant “Four-More-Years! Four-More-Years!” We Americans love a good chant because you get the emotional high of being part of a team, but without […]

Greatsby’s Presidential Endorsement Challenge

August 15, 2012


The American presidential race is in full swing and I know both campaigns are looking to The Good Greatsby to offer an endorsement and possibly change the momentum of the race. Because both campaigns are laboring to avoid talk of any actual issues so they can avoid being labelled as ‘standing for something’, I’m having […]

Mitt Romney Never Lies Down on the Jobs

July 20, 2012


Mitt Romney would like you to believe he’s the presidential candidate most qualified to create jobs. But in an exclusive interview, sources inside the Romney camp have revealed a dark side to Romney’s jobs plan: Yes, he has a plan to add hundreds of thousands of jobs. But, he plans to fill every one of […]

Not-So-Healthy Headlines

June 25, 2012


This week the United States Supreme Court is expected to hand down its ruling on President Obama’s healthcare act. If the bill is overturned, many Americans will joyfully cheer its defeat, despite it being the first serious effort to correct a system that allows Americans to rank #37 in healthcare and #38 in life expectancy, […]

Super Tuesday Founding Fathers Super Trivia

March 6, 2012


Today is Super Tuesday in America when Republicans will hold their largest primary. Excitement is high as Republicans hope that after three years of campaigning, fundraising, rallying, and spending hundreds of millions of dollars, they can finally settle on a candidate nobody is excited about. For international readers who may not be familiar with America’s […]

Obama Announces New American Enemies List

January 24, 2012


Tonight President Obama delivers his State of the Union address and hopes to use the occasion to remind Americans of his successes, announce new initiatives, and try and counter Republican accusations of being a socialist-loving, religion-hating, baby-biting vampire. It’s likely Obama will claim the killing of Osama Bin Laden as one of the previous year’s […]

The Economic Future is so Bright, I Have to Wear Shades

January 10, 2012


The Republican New Hampshire primary takes place today. The media has been talking about the Republican race for a year, but unfortunately for the Republicans, none of them stand much of a chance of beating Obama as long as the economy keeps improving, no matter how many times they insist it isn’t. Statistics show the […]

Obama Carries Softly and Speaks a Big Stick

November 15, 2011


In matters of international diplomacy, US President Theodore Roosevelt was famous for coining the phrase, “Speak softly and carry a big stick.” This is the version found in most history books, although Roosevelt’s version underwent several rough drafts before he got it just right: “Dance seductively while swinging a hangman’s noose.” “Speak softly while holding […]

Palin Runs Out of Reasons to Run

October 6, 2011


Former VP candidate, half-term Alaska governor, reality TV star, Fox News analyst, and frequent ‘You betcha!’ utterer, Sarah Palin announced she wasn’t running for President to a  room full of yawns.  The news came as no surprise to the reporters at The Good Greatsby who realized she never intended to run from the time this […]