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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
How to Get More Compliments
When someone gives you a compliment, are you content to bask in the glow of just one, or do you have a strategy for getting more? Receiving compliments makes us feel good and plays a crucial role in how we feel about ourselves. If receiving compliments is so beneficial, shouldn’t we strategize how to get our daily dose […]
Posted in: Columns
Chinglish Toiletry Warnings
August 14, 2011
My friend took the following picture outside a restroom: I can read the Chinese, so I understand the sign is meant to warn of a slippery floor, but the mere suggestion of a landslide hitting while I’m using the restroom will make it extremely difficult to relax. My ten-year-old, Optimist Prime, took this picture near the gate […]
Posted in: Chinglish
Saturday Souffle
August 13, 2011
When my wife and I spoke on the phone this week, I gave her instructions on what times of the day to feed our cat, Megatron. She wondered why I was telling her how to feed the cat when this had been her job for years; this was the moment my wife and I realized we’ve both been feeding the cat […]
Posted in: Columns
Friday Love Letters: Dear Turkish Girl I Saw on a Bus in Germany for Six Minutes and Fell in Love With
August 12, 2011
Dear Turkish Girl I Saw on a Bus in Germany for Six Minutes and Fell in Love With, How long has it been since that fall evening on the bus? I think I was still a teenager, right? I’m not sure why I’m asking you for confirmation of my age since we never actually talked and I […]
Posted in: Love Letters
The Downgrade Explained
August 11, 2011
Perhaps you’ve heard the United States credit rating was dropped from AAA to AA+ by the rating agency Standard & Poors. This downgrade means the US will have to offer higher rates when it issues bonds and will increase the interest the US will pay to creditors over time. International investors will no longer consider […]
Posted in: Breaking News Fixed
Dear Good Greatsby: How Can I Convince My Sister-in-law to Leave the Country?
August 10, 2011
Today’s guest panelist will be my mom, who has promised to only give advice relating to the question and not use this as a platform to criticize my life choices. In exchange, I’ve offered to stop arguing when she suggests I like the same things I liked when I was five. When she suggests I feed […]
Posted in: Dear Good Greatsby
Notes from Edinburgh
August 9, 2011
My English friends keep pointing out British celebrities here at the Edinburgh Fringe that I didn’t know were celebrities: “Hey, look behind you. That’s Ruby Wax!” “Who’s Ruby Wax?” “Are you serious? She’s been on the telly for years.” “Sorry, but I’m not familiar with British television celebrities.” “But she’s an American!” “But she’s only on TV […]
Posted in: Columns
People I Want to Impress
August 8, 2011
We all want to be liked. Or if not liked, at least respected. Or feared. Or maybe we would trade being liked for being considered incredibly attractive, but that’s a completely different topic and I don’t want to digress. The urge to be recognized as special or interesting or intelligent is strongest in childhood when we […]
Posted in: Columns
Chinglish Loving Life
August 7, 2011
This sign was posted on a rail separating viewers from a 10,170 foot drop off the peak of Mount Emeishan: The advice is pretty straightforward–if you think life is okay, or maybe even love life, then you probably don’t want to climb to the other side of the hand rail and fall off the mountain. […]
Posted in: Chinglish
Saturday Rambler
August 6, 2011
I visited Edinburgh ten years ago, but I don’t remember seeing so many redheads. I saw more redheads in my first twenty-four hours here than I had seen in the previous ten years combined. Although to be honest, I’ve lived in China for seven of those years and the variety of hair colors is pretty slim. When […]
Posted in: Columns
Friday Love Letters: Dear Jane Seymour
August 5, 2011
Dear Jane Seymour, I realize you’re a classy Englishwoman so I assume it will take more than dinner and a movie coupled with conversation about my fantasy football draft to win you over. I’m not sure I’m genuinely classy, but I’ve taken pretending to be classy to a whole new level. I own a smoking […]
Posted in: Love Letters
What Would Harry Potter Do?
August 4, 2011
Kids like to be teased. When my kids say they don’t like to be teased I realize this is their way of teasing me back and begging for more teasing. I tease my kids a lot, but I hope my teasing manages to teach them valuable life lessons at the same time because this helps […]
Posted in: Family
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