Kids like to be teased. When my kids say they don’t like to be teased I realize this is their way of teasing me back and begging for more teasing.
I tease my kids a lot, but I hope my teasing manages to teach them valuable life lessons at the same time because this helps as a defense when my wife says I tease too much.
Before watching the last Harry Potter movie, I got the kids the Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 1 DVD, but I returned home too late to watch the movie that night and told them they could watch it the following day. When the kids asked to see the movie the following afternoon, I told them the bad news, “Your mother and I watched the movie last night after you went to bed, and we’re really not up to watching it two days in a row.” My ten-year-old, Optimist Prime, asked if they could watch it without us, but I reminded him we needed to watch it together because we wanted them to close their eyes at certain parts. (Not a kids movie. My wife covered her eyes for half the film.)
“I guess you should have watched it last night,” I told him.
“But you told us to go to bed,” he complained.
“Bedtimes never stopped Harry Potter. He got out of bed all the time. Harry would have found a way to watch the movie last night.”
“But I’d be in trouble if I broke the rules.”
“No,” I corrected him, “You’d be in trouble if you got caught breaking the rules. Good thing Harry Potter didn’t follow the rules, or all us Muggles would be enslaved to He Who Must Not Be Named.”
“You mean Volde–“
“Shhh! Don’t say his name!”
This is when my wife entered and asked what kind of message I was trying to teach Optimist Prime, and I answered, “I was trying to teach him the main message of the Harry Potter books: Adult are wrong most of the time and rules made by adults are meant to be broken.”
Every single adult Harry Potter character, no matter how intelligent and well-meaning, was wrong about something significant at least once. The kids would go to an adult, rationally explain all the evidence of impending danger, and the adult would ignore their concerns and tell them to leave the situation to the adults, even though the kids had been right in the past again and again and again. If Harry Potter hadn’t ignored adults, people would have died as a result.
Optimist Prime is a rule follower. I was always a rule follower, and I trusted adults always knew best and had your best interests at heart for far too long. We teach kids to obey and respect adults, but at what age do I tell him a lot of adults can’t figure out their own lives, let alone tell you how to live yours. Always do what adults tell you, unless you’re pretty sure the adult is wrong, or had ulterior motives, or is biased, or not that smart, or is a stranger, or might be a Death Eater working for Voldemort. He’s a very smart and wise ten-year-old; I would trust his advice over counsel from many of the thirty-year-olds I know.
I’m still trying to figure out how to teach him this message without him thinking he can check out when adults are talking. Also without making my wife upset. Also without my seven-year-old, The Fonz, overhearing because I plan to tell The Fonz to obey adults–especially the police–his whole life.
The Good Greatsby 
Jeyna Grace
August 4, 2011
I like how you spoke to your son, as though he-who-must-not-be-named really exist. haha. nice post btw!
Laura
August 4, 2011
Guide dogs are very attentive, but they use their own judgement and disobey commands they think are unwise. Maybe you could send Optimist Prime to a guide dog training school (similarly, you could send The Fonz to a regular dog obedience school).
The Good Greatsby
August 4, 2011
I wonder if humans and dogs would pay the same tuition.
Patricia
August 5, 2011
Humans would pay more—they are harder to train…
georgettesullins
August 4, 2011
WW-HPD? Sounds like our Houston Police Department…ya better follow Harry Potter’s rules.
The Good Greatsby
August 4, 2011
We should all be grateful Harry was willing to break bad rules.
Renee Schuls-Jacobson
August 4, 2011
My Monkey is your OP. I beg him to break rules, hit back, swear, get into it with his stupid English teacher who made him write two book reports a month last year. He won’t do it.
Some kids are Hufflepuffs.
The Good Greatsby
August 4, 2011
As a parent you’re relieved to have an obedient child until you realize somebody will eventually take advantage of his habit of never asking questions.
educlaytion
August 5, 2011
There’s a lot of truth to this. The strong willed kids can be such a rough ride, but once they figure it out they are locked on. The kids that always act angelic and follow the rules will just waltz along with whatever crowd passes. They often turn out to get into bigger disasters.
Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson
August 5, 2011
Are you implying my kid is a disaster? Because I will cut you.
Bridgesburning Chris King
August 4, 2011
I get it..by teaching OP not to listen to adults and break rules and teaching the Fonz to listen to adults and not break the rules you are setting the stage for entertainment in you elderly shrivelled all up rocking chair cackling toothless but still wearing your dashing smoking jacket phase as you watch two sons conquer the world in Stooge fashion. Very crafty I say!
The Good Greatsby
August 5, 2011
They’ll have a conversation at my funeral and realize I taught them completely different life philosophies.
Spectra
August 4, 2011
I am proud of you for teaching Optimus the truth about the world of adults!
As a kid who had trouble following the rules, I often challeneged adults asssumption of superiority . Unfortunately, even with my stark defiance, I never did manage to save the world from evil Sorcerers. But I did Master Detention. Now there’s a skill that’s underrated in the world today!
The Good Greatsby
August 5, 2011
It’s important to teach kids to obey adults during the years they don’t know better than to run out in the road or that they shouldn’t touch a hot stove, but adults continue to take advantage of positions of authority long after it stops being beneficial to the child.
Spectra
August 5, 2011
EXTREMELY well said!
gerknoop
August 4, 2011
I spent a LOT of time in the hallway in the 4th grade due to my unbridled tongue…..I don’t think I remember much at ALL about 4th grade except I got to know the janitor really well as he passed my classroom each day and there I sat once AGAIN in the hallway for talking out to much…..we were on a first name basis …..and that is probably the reason I suck at math today! I think I added personality to the room….and all she wanted to do was MATH!
The Good Greatsby
August 5, 2011
I bet those kids would have remembered math a lot better if they’d had your fun personality keeping them awake.
Annie
August 4, 2011
My 6yo is our big ruler follower but sometimes his idea of the rules are his own. He’s pretty inflexible which is not always helpful. My other three kids are pretty obedient as well. Once They realized even adults don’t always know what is best they freaked. OP is a super smart kid so I bet he will recognize when An adult is not to be believed or trusted.
The Good Greatsby
August 5, 2011
The Fonz doesn’t hear anybody else’s rules but he sure loves to make them up.
Lenore Diane
August 4, 2011
Teasing and tickling. Close relatives, I believe. My kids get mad when I say I am going to tickle them. Then, when I tickle them – they laugh. I think they are teasing me. They want to be tickled. Such teasers – my kids. I’m on to them now. Thanks GG.
Nice subtle message, too. (You? Subtle? Wow.) It is true. We raise kids to obey and respect adults. What happens when the adult is wrong? Of course, I wouldn’t know. I’m never wrong.
The Good Greatsby
August 5, 2011
You must be one of those adults who are right so often that other adults can point to you as an example of why they should continue to be obeyed.
gardenmad
August 4, 2011
Give up now, before they’re teenagers. They’re just messing with your mind. When the time comes, they’ll do what you least expect.
The Good Greatsby
August 5, 2011
Maybe I’ll tell them to be rebellious and they’ll rebel by not rebelling against me.
gardenmad
August 5, 2011
That’s what you’d expect. See what I mean?
thelifeofjamie
August 4, 2011
I think I will need to have the same conversation with my kids…My son is a rule follower, my daughter pretends like she can’t hear me until she has completed whatever it is she wants..
The Good Greatsby
August 5, 2011
Sounds like you have the exact same combination as I do.
limr
August 4, 2011
I’m a rule follower. Some of the rules are my own, but I follow them. Yes, sometimes I feel like a sucker, but I haven’t bought a bridge yet, so it hasn’t been a huge disadvantage in my life. Of course, if I were in charge of saving the world from You Know Who, we’d be toast.
The Good Greatsby
August 5, 2011
We definitely need some followers in this world, otherwise, who would populate Hufflepuff?
limr
August 5, 2011
Oh no to the no to the HELL to the no. Hufflepuff? Rule followers can be Ravenclaw geniuses too, y’know. Pffff!
madtante
August 4, 2011
My parents were absolutely horrible felons who still belong in jail for what they did to us. That said, I had a good grandmother…I’m not complaining, I’m setting up something.
Some kids “get” early on that what adults do is wrong, even if they’re powerless to stop it. I was the kind of kid who swung the other way and ended up in a care-taking role. I was also a punk rock kid (real one, we’re talking early 80s and everything that meant), so I got in my rebellion–just not “at” those who deserved it.
My parents did a few totally cool things and it was totally by accident:
a) they were not bigots; they had friends of different colors & religions (although they were not religious, they believed I needed to attend different churches and learn about that diversity, as well)
b) The Duchess said over and over (probably in response to news or those who say, “My father says”/ “Preacher says” or whomever), “Never give your power over to one man (generalizing, not man-hating). Listen to everybody and take it all with a grain of salt. Decide for yourself.” Pretty good for an otherwise evil person, huh?
c) in general, reading–even things we weren’t interested in–was pushed, particularly non-fiction but any reading had some merit. If one can read, one can learn and nobody can take away the things you’ve learned. People can censure your readings, so strive for diversity there, as well.
The Good Greatsby
August 5, 2011
I think it’s important to read things you’re not interested in as well as reading opinions and ideas you don’t agree with.
pegoleg
August 4, 2011
You forgot to tell OP to make sure he always has his invisibility cloak handy so he doesn’t get caught breaking the rules.
Amy
August 4, 2011
I am a rule follower, my husband is not. If we had a kid I would tell him to listen to any adult except his father. My husband would tell him to never listen to anyone, especially me. Yeah, it’s a good thing we don’t have kids.
Sounds like OP has a healthy dose of common sense. He’ll figure out when not to listen to you or any other adult. I’d still have bail money handy, however.
Jen
August 5, 2011
I was a rule-follower, now I’m 50/50. Definite outspoken, rebellious streak that probably has something to do with all those times I got beat up as a kid. Who knows what we’ll become after the long nature vs. nurture battle? Que sera, sera. But I really like your message to OP to think for himself. It’s important.
spilledinkguy
August 5, 2011
I read this to my wife who is an avid Harry Potter fan.
That might have been a mistake.
I get the feeling I’ll be watching a lot of Harry Potter tonight.
Unless I can find another way of entertaining myself during that time (without getting caught, that is)! 🙂
Todd Pack
August 5, 2011
Good observation on how the adults in Harry Potter are kind of stupid. I get that one of the ways to make money writing children’s books is to make the adults stupid and the children smart, but, as an adult, this really annoys me. This is a big reason we don’t let our 11-year-old watch most of the shows on the Disney Channel.
Lorna's Voice
August 5, 2011
Are you still operating under the illusion that what you say now will matter to your sons when they are teens? You best have a chat with your wife…
susielindau
August 5, 2011
I don’t think you have to teach him anything about thinking on his own. Just wait until he is a teenager, then he will think all adults are ignorant! That is when the fun begins. Hahaha!
Great post!
Kim
August 5, 2011
My kids are getting to the age where they tease back…. Words hurt. 😉
Deborah the Closet Monster
August 5, 2011
That’s the kind of dialogue I hope to have with my son someday. 😉
As one who works in contracts, I find myself often saying to my son things like, “You mustn’t ever do that . . . unless, say, a zombie comes, or an alien, in which case all bets are off!” Every single absolute I offer has some kind of caveat that comes straight to mind and which I feel compelled to articulate, but I’m trying to bear in mind more that (a) 22-month-olds aren’t apt to understand caveats, ignoring the fact they likely don’t understand references to zombies or aliens, either and (b) not laying down an occasional absolute with little ones is bound to have its own pitfalls. I think I’ll just have to choose the lesser evils on a day by day basis.
Perrault
August 5, 2011
That does it. I’m off to make WWHPD wristbands…
HoaiPhai
August 6, 2011
This is the very reason why I refuse to grow up. The down side is that I still get teased a lot.
mzmo
August 6, 2011
For some reason, this post reminds me of a really close friend of mine whose dad let her watch “Blue Velvet” at the age of 9. She has subsequently gone on to be incredibly intelligent, opinionated and to date extremely creative men whilst operating her own very successful traditional Chinese medicine business.
However, she’s an only child, so there’s no control in this experiment. My understanding is that you have multiple spawn, so surely you could sacrifice one to this experiment, leaving the other for comparison? Or perhaps you’d like to choose a different movie, like “Irreversible”?
bluebee
August 9, 2011
‘but at what age do I tell him a lot of adults can’t figure out their own lives’ – I figure he already knows this
ChadJ (randomlychad)
August 28, 2011
Such a fine line to walk in teaching kids to obey their parents, respect their elders, and yet employ critical thinking skills.
Awesomely funny, and pointed, post!