Starting a To-Do List is on My To-Do List

February 9, 2016

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post-it-note

An inventor recently sued 3M for 400 million dollars, claiming he invented the Post-it note back in 1973. He claims his product was called the Press-on and he showed it to 3M executives in 1974. I can’t help wondering why it took him over 40 years to sue. How do you forget someone owes you […]

Posted in: humor

Adele’s New Single is Selling Like Hot Dogs!

February 2, 2016

45

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When I was a kid everyone gave me career advice. Dad said, ‘Paul, you’ve got to study computers. Computers are selling like hotcakes.’ My brother said, ‘You’ve got to study programming. Dotcoms are selling like hotcakes.’ My brother-in-law told me, ‘Study real estate. You gotta flip properties. They’re selling like hotcakes.’ I gave it some […]

Posted in: humor

Indifferent Tourism Campaigns

January 26, 2016

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I’ve traveled all over the world and love everything about traveling except the travel. I’d love to have all those exotic places come to me without having to leave the house. I’ve been taking my shoes off at airports for years and years and I’m tired of re-tying shoelaces. I’d love to work as a […]

Posted in: humor

Hot Investment Tip: Put All Your Savings into Gratuities

January 19, 2016

69

Tipping

Some people take restaurant service very seriously. You may have noticed these are also the people who take themselves very seriously. If you’ve ever spent the evening in the company of a self-appointed service industry critic, you quickly realize the dressing down of a 19-year-old waitress is a much greater strain on the evening than […]

Posted in: Columns

My 11-Year-Old Tries Very, Very Hard to Explain the Plot of Inside Out

January 12, 2016

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When my kids were small my wife told me I shouldn’t tease them, and I told her that it was too late to re-negotiate the terms of our agreement to have children. Teasing and its potential for producing comedy material was one of the strongest ‘pros’ in the reproduction column. Unfortunately, as the kids have […]

Posted in: Family, humor

The 1st Annual Award Show Awards Recognizing Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Awards

January 5, 2016

54

carygrantOscar

Every year at Christmas it was a tradition for Mom to make her ‘World Famous Potato Salad’. It was also a tradition for the salad to be terrible. We’d try and explain potato salad was more of a summer food, and she’d say that was fine because summer was when she’d prepared it. When I […]

Posted in: Humor Columns

And That’s a Wrap 2015: Library Death Zone 4

December 31, 2015

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Goodbye, 2015. We hardly knew ye. Here are my highlights: 1. Library Death Zone 4 The last day before Christmas break my son Luke had a big dance performance at school. I told him ‘Dance like there’s nobody watching, because your recital is the same time as your brother’s football game.’ If you’ve followed this […]

Posted in: humor

5 Tips for Surviving Your Child’s Christmas Pageant

December 21, 2015

42

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For those of you who don’t have children and are spending wild nights out on the town, parenting may not seem very exciting or glamorous, but, it isn’t. Although parenting has its rewards. I’ve heard. At least that’s what all the parenting books say. Not that I’ve read any parenting books, but my wife put […]

Posted in: Family

Stop Trying to Prove Doctors Wrong

August 12, 2015

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I came across a headline that read ‘The World’s Most Precise Clock Could Prove Einstein Wrong’. Apparently a clockmaker invented an atomic clock so precise that it could disprove some of Einstein’s theories on the constancy of certain physical properties. Guys like this clockmaker annoy me to no end. Don’t you hate those people who […]

Posted in: Columns

Intern Wanted

June 12, 2014

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intern

Do you have what it takes to join The Good Greatsby team? The Good Greatsby, aka Paul Johnson, has fallen behind on maintaining his blog and is looking for a talented, hard-working intern to do all the work of maintaining this site while Paul continues to do all the work of taking credit for this […]

Posted in: Columns

And That’s a Wrap: 2013

January 14, 2014

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At the end of 2011 I posted a summary of my year: And That’s a Wrap I meant to do the same at the end of 2012 but I got distracted watching Game of Thrones and forgot to do anything in 2012. 2013 In January I started writing the back page Slice of Life humor […]

Posted in: Columns

Goodbye, Megatron

January 7, 2014

85

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After eight years of constantly being startled, our cat Megatron died two days before Christmas. I’ve loved animals all my life and have had dozens of pets over the years, but I spent more time with Megatron than any of them. I worked from home for six of her eight years and she spent anywhere […]

Posted in: Columns
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