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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Dear Good Greatsby: Should I Pretend Not to be Better Than Everyone Else?
Today’s questions come from blogger and author, Tyler Tarver. Allow me to introduce Tyler by saying he has never asked to borrow money or invited me to his child’s birthday party, thus winning my hearty endorsement of him as a writer and human. Allow Tyler to describe himself in his own inspiring words: “Tyler is […]
Posted in: Dear Good Greatsby
That Film is so Gay
August 2, 2011
Hollywood loves to re-make movies. The first Spider-Man film premiered in 2002, and after three films they are already rebooting the series with an entirely new cast set to debut in 2012. The movie, A Star is Born, is now being re-made for the fourth time. The first film came in 1937 and starred Janet […]
Posted in: Columns
The Search Engine Oracle Keeps on Speaking
August 1, 2011
Every search term tells a story. As I explained in my previous posts, Search Engine Oracle one and two, I like to imagine the circumstances that inspire these searchers to rush to a search engine seeking advice. What happened to this searcher earlier in the day? what do you say when someone tells you that someone […]
Posted in: Columns
Chinglish Beauty Tips
July 31, 2011
My wife bought some fake eyelashes here in Shanghai: When she tried on the eyelashes and asked me how she looked, I told her she looked fine. She was extremely disappointed my reaction wasn’t more enthusiastic based on the promises made on the reverse side of the packaging: Rococo for women gives you beauty and […]
Posted in: Chinglish
Saturday Shuffle
July 30, 2011
On Thursday night my seven-year-old, The Fonz, lost a tooth while attending a rodeo/carnival. He told me the news and expected me to be excited, but I immediately quoted the ancient proverb: “He who loses his tooth at a carnival in the presence of many toothless carnies, is destined to grow up to be a […]
Posted in: Columns
Friday Love Letters: Dear Totino’s Party Pizza
July 29, 2011
Dear Totino’s Party Pizza, Why do we ever fight? I may say some hurtful things in the heat of the moment, usually when standing on a scale, but I always come back, don’t I? You know I can’t stay mad at you. Totino’s Party Pizza, you are the greatest of economy meals. I’ve found you […]
Posted in: Love Letters
Burglar Confused as Trebek Demands to be Robbed in the Form of a Question
July 28, 2011
Alex Trebek, host of US television’s game show Jeopardy, injured his Achilles tendon when he chased after a burglar in a San Francisco hotel. He awoke to find a woman in his room who was going through his possessions and he chased after her, only to collapse in the hallway. When I read the […]
Posted in: Breaking News Fixed
Dear Good Greatsby: Help! My Granddaughter’s Blog Might Get Me Murdered!
July 27, 2011
Today’s guest panelist will be my mom, who has graciously agreed to interrupt her normal schedule of spending the day being disappointed in me. The question comes from the Grammy of blogger Girl on the Contrary. If you’re not familiar with Girl on the Contrary, allow me to introduce her with the compliment that she […]
Posted in: Dear Good Greatsby
Motivate Yourself with Fake Rivalries
July 26, 2011
When I find myself lazy or lacking motivation in some important aspect of life, I try and outline the problem and set a series of goals to help me regain focus. When that doesn’t work, I try and invent rivalries and enemies in the hopes that I’ll gain inspiration through the desire to show them […]
Posted in: Family
Parenting Efficiency
July 25, 2011
Parents often feel guilty. They may feel guilty for not spending enough time with their kids. Or maybe they put in the hours, but they worry it’s not enough quality time. I don’t worry about the quantity of time versus quality of time debate because I only measure parental success in quantity of activities. Time […]
Posted in: Family
Chinglish Lessons
July 24, 2011
I found this sign above a urinal in a small village outside Chengdu: I’ve taken that counsel to heart, and since that day, every time I use a urinal, I pause for a brief moment to think about making things easier for others. Let’s all give it a try and maybe together we can make […]
Posted in: Chinglish
Saturday Sampler
July 23, 2011
When somebody cuts your hair successfully fifteen months in a row, you stop paying close attention during the haircut. This last Tuesday I brought my son along to chat with me while I sat in the barber’s chair, and I believe this distraction is what prevented me from noticing until the very end that my […]
Posted in: Uncategorized
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