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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All posts tagged under »satire«
Dear Good Greatsby: What’s on Your Bucket List?
The Average Person wondered about my list of things I still wanted to do before death. I was assisted in answering her question by my personal assistant Ken, who took time from his busy schedule of not having a girlfriend. Dear Good Greatsby, Having had a lucky escape, I decided to write a bucket List. […]
Mustache-less Candidates Race to Get Their Grow On
November 14, 2011
Just when it seemed things couldn’t get any worse for Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain following a series of sexual harassment accusations, Cain has now lost the coveted endorsement of the American Mustache Institute. Cain Keeps Stiff Upper Lip After Losing Endorsement of Hairy Upper Lip The American Mustache Institute had first planned to stand […]
Chinglish Fluctuation
November 13, 2011
My friend Andrew took this picture at a local museum as he was about to take the stairs: Back in my day, we were content with traditional stairs and nobody would have even considered the idea of messing with a design that’s been working for thousands of years. Now kids today demand fancy fluctuation stairs […]
Saturday Snack
November 12, 2011
The Fonz is having a great year in 2nd grade. He’s never been so excited about learning and corners me throughout the day to tell me about the solar system or compound words. Of course I was happy to see how enthused he was about learning, but my happiness began to fade this past week […]
Come Again? (Guest Contribution at Educlaytion)
November 11, 2011
Clay over at Educlaytion asked me to contribute to a post on the random things you might say to confuse people who are eavesdropping. Sometimes I suspect the couple at the table next to me seems to be straining to listen in on my conversation, and this is why I always have a snippet of […]
The Good Greatsby’s Tips for Getting Your Spouse’s Attention
November 10, 2011
In yesterday’s post, Muy Caliente! Tips for Adding Spice to Your Marriage, I responded to an article outlining methods to add some excitement to your marriage. Today I’d like to suggest some of my own time-tested methods for keeping Mrs. Good Greatsby interested in yours truly. #1 Leave each other notes around the house from […]
Muy Caliente! Tips for Adding Spice to Your Marriage
November 9, 2011
A friend sent me an article on 7 Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage with the suggestion it might make a good blog post, although it’s also possible she sent it at my wife’s request. My wife and I don’t need any help in the spice department. If anything, my marriage has too much spice. […]
Why Doesn’t Everyone Like Me as Much as LinkedIn?
November 8, 2011
Dear LinkedIn, How have I suddenly become so popular, so connected, so linked in? Every day I get another email inviting me to join someone’s network on LinkedIn. All of a sudden I’m Mr. Popular even though I can’t remember the last time anyone ever invited me to a party without first asking if my wife […]
Justin Bieber Takes Paternity Test; Also Geography Test
November 7, 2011
Tween fans of sixteen-year-old singer, heartthrob, and fake glasses wearer, Justin Bieber, were devastated to learn he had been sued for paternity last week. Bieber claims he’s never met his accuser and yesterday agreed to take a paternity test contingent on his mom lending him her car once his chores are all finished. I immediately […]
Chinglish Sweat
November 6, 2011
When I finish my workouts, there’s only one drink that can quench my thirst: When you’re feeling hot and sweaty, doesn’t it make sense to replace all that sweat by drinking Pocari Sweat? As I get older, I find myself increasingly out of touch with the hip new lingo kids are using like on the […]
Saturday Platter
November 5, 2011
When the kids were considering Halloween costumes, The Fonz wished Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak existed so he could go as the invisible man. I told him I’d actually read a story about scientists developing an invisibility cloak and he grew excited. “How much does it cost?” “It’s not for sale. It’s just an experiment.” “Where […]
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November 16, 2011
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