Justin Bieber Takes Paternity Test; Also Geography Test

Posted on November 7, 2011


Tween fans of sixteen-year-old singer, heartthrob, and fake glasses wearer, Justin Bieber, were devastated to learn he had been sued for paternity last week.  Bieber claims he’s never met his accuser and yesterday agreed to take a paternity test contingent on his mom lending him her car once his chores are all finished.  I immediately thought of the following headlines to describe this important story:

Justin Bieber Takes Paternity Test; Also Geography Test

Local Woman Attempts to Take Candy from a Baby Singer

Bieber Camp Rattled by Sound of Rattle

Justin Bieber Maintains Low Profile, Keeps Head Down as Baby Struggles to Hold Head Up

Police Fail in Attempt to Interview Bieber When Thwarted by Treehouse Password

Baby Singer Sings Blues When Fat Lady Sings Baby

Bieber Served Papers During Paper Route

Bieber Beliebs in Innocence; Also Santa

Parents Ground Bieber After Taking Paternity Test Past His Bedtime

Bieber Faces Accuser in Court: Swears on Stack of Bibles, Sits on Stack of Phone Books