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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All posts tagged under »satire«
Saturday Salad: Dressing on the Side
My seven-year-old, The Fonz, showed me a story he’s writing and the first sentence made me laugh: Once upon a time 3 kids were best friends named Jay, Henry and most of all Jack. Here was an opening line that sucked me right in and I had to keep reading to find out why Jack […]
Rick Perry Death Stare Fails to Intimidate Voters
October 21, 2011
Texas has always been different than the rest of the United States, a lesson being learned by Texas Governor Rick Perry as he runs for the Republican Presidential nomination. Perry enjoyed great success ruling Texas with an iron fist on a simple platform of physical intimidation. Texans didn’t bat an eye when Perry signaled the […]
Scrabble Contestant Accused of Hiding G in His A
October 20, 2011
A missing letter ‘G’ during a World Scrabble Championships match resulted in accusations of cheating as the losing player demanded his opponent be strip-searched. Both players were asked to turn out their pockets but the missing tile was never found and officials refused to conduct the requested strip search. I’ve composed the following headlines to […]
Dear Good Greatsby: Help! I’m a Zombie Trying to Kick My Brains Addiction!
October 19, 2011
The first question comes from Binky of Wombania Comics who appears to be suffering an existential crisis. Dear Good Greatsby, I might be a pumpkin. What should I do? And don’t say make pie! Binky Dear Binky, Paul: During the Halloween season, psychiatrists always report an uptick in patients claiming to be pumpkins. These patients […]
Cain Herman Cain or Cain’t He?
October 18, 2011
For decades Republicans have been touting supply-side economics: If tax rates are cut, the wealthiest will spend more and create jobs with the promise that the wealth from the wealthiest classes would ‘trickle-down’ to the rest of the economy. Unfortunately, this trickle-down never took place and instead there has been a massive trickle-up of wealth. […]
If at First You Don’t Rapture, Try, Try Again
October 17, 2011
Five months ago I posted a response to evangelical pastor Harold Camping’s prediction that the Christian Rapture would come on May 21st: Cloudy with a Chance of Rapture. Once again Camping is predicting the apocalypse is still coming and will actually arrive on October 21. People have been predicting the end of the world for […]
Chinglish Oktoberfest
October 16, 2011
If you don’t have any plans next week and you’re going to be in Shanghai, perhaps you’d be interested in attending an Oktoberfest celebration. I received the advertisement below from a local restaurant, and I’m excited to attend the celebration, but my one concern is that I’ve lived in Germany and attended Oktoberfest many times […]
Saturday Surprise
October 15, 2011
A father remembers the moment when after years of letting his son win, the kid sprints past him and wins all on his own. Most of this ‘allowing to win’ pertains to sports and board games but not video games since babies today are born with advanced Super Mario skills far exceeding those of their […]
Republicans Scramble to Defuse High-Five-Gate Controversy
October 15, 2011
Once again the Republican party is scrambling to shake off charges of elitism after a new scandal threatens attempts to appeal to the common man before the 2012 election. For years reporters have been asking multimillionaire Republicans ‘Gotcha’ questions to put them on the spot and prove they don’t understand the plight of average Americans. […]
The Fonz is All Ears…Unless You’re Calling His Name
October 13, 2011
As a child I remember being reprimanded a lot for not listening, as though turning off my ears had been a conscious decision. Adults swore they had told me something important, and I had nodded acknowledgement, but all details of the conversation eluded me. I remember a lot of conversations ending with, “Do you understand […]
Dear Good Greatsby: Smell Ya Later. Or Not, Because I Have No Sense of Smell.
October 12, 2011
(The Good Greatsby would appreciate any Halloween related questions concerning the ghost haunting your garbage disposal, the ghoul in your office microwave, or the skeletons in your closet. Submit a question in 100 words or less on the Dear Good Greatsby page.) Today’s question comes from Joe Knight who seeks an explanation for his lack […]
Smack Talk 101: Can I get you a bowl of smackaroni and cheese?
October 11, 2011
Smack talk is not my strong suit. Some people think half the fun of a fantasy football league is sending taunting emails and texts to other players, but I’ve never liked mean humor and I have a hard time getting into the spirit of being one of the guys while worrying about crossing the line. […]
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