My seven-year-old, The Fonz, showed me a story he’s writing and the first sentence made me laugh: Once upon a time 3 kids were best friends named Jay, Henry and most of all Jack. Here was an opening line that sucked me right in and I had to keep reading to find out why Jack […]
October 21, 2011
Texas has always been different than the rest of the United States, a lesson being learned by Texas Governor Rick Perry as he runs for the Republican Presidential nomination. Perry enjoyed great success ruling Texas with an iron fist on a simple platform of physical intimidation. Texans didn’t bat an eye when Perry signaled the […]
October 20, 2011
A missing letter ‘G’ during a World Scrabble Championships match resulted in accusations of cheating as the losing player demanded his opponent be strip-searched. Both players were asked to turn out their pockets but the missing tile was never found and officials refused to conduct the requested strip search. I’ve composed the following headlines to […]
October 19, 2011
The first question comes from Binky of Wombania Comics who appears to be suffering an existential crisis. Dear Good Greatsby, I might be a pumpkin. What should I do? And don’t say make pie! Binky Dear Binky, Paul: During the Halloween season, psychiatrists always report an uptick in patients claiming to be pumpkins. These patients […]
October 18, 2011
For decades Republicans have been touting supply-side economics: If tax rates are cut, the wealthiest will spend more and create jobs with the promise that the wealth from the wealthiest classes would ‘trickle-down’ to the rest of the economy. Unfortunately, this trickle-down never took place and instead there has been a massive trickle-up of wealth. […]
October 17, 2011
Five months ago I posted a response to evangelical pastor Harold Camping’s prediction that the Christian Rapture would come on May 21st: Cloudy with a Chance of Rapture. Once again Camping is predicting the apocalypse is still coming and will actually arrive on October 21. People have been predicting the end of the world for […]
October 16, 2011
If you don’t have any plans next week and you’re going to be in Shanghai, perhaps you’d be interested in attending an Oktoberfest celebration. I received the advertisement below from a local restaurant, and I’m excited to attend the celebration, but my one concern is that I’ve lived in Germany and attended Oktoberfest many times […]
October 15, 2011
A father remembers the moment when after years of letting his son win, the kid sprints past him and wins all on his own. Most of this ‘allowing to win’ pertains to sports and board games but not video games since babies today are born with advanced Super Mario skills far exceeding those of their […]
October 15, 2011
Once again the Republican party is scrambling to shake off charges of elitism after a new scandal threatens attempts to appeal to the common man before the 2012 election. For years reporters have been asking multimillionaire Republicans ‘Gotcha’ questions to put them on the spot and prove they don’t understand the plight of average Americans. […]
October 13, 2011
As a child I remember being reprimanded a lot for not listening, as though turning off my ears had been a conscious decision. Adults swore they had told me something important, and I had nodded acknowledgement, but all details of the conversation eluded me. I remember a lot of conversations ending with, “Do you understand […]
October 12, 2011
(The Good Greatsby would appreciate any Halloween related questions concerning the ghost haunting your garbage disposal, the ghoul in your office microwave, or the skeletons in your closet. Submit a question in 100 words or less on the Dear Good Greatsby page.) Today’s question comes from Joe Knight who seeks an explanation for his lack […]
October 11, 2011
Smack talk is not my strong suit. Some people think half the fun of a fantasy football league is sending taunting emails and texts to other players, but I’ve never liked mean humor and I have a hard time getting into the spirit of being one of the guys while worrying about crossing the line. […]
October 22, 2011
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