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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All posts tagged under »humor«
Saturday Side Salad
My favorite search term this week: justin bieber takes fraternety test I think the searcher meant paternity test because Bieber is only sixteen years old and won’t need to worry about joining a college fraternity for a couple more years. He definitely should put fraternity considerations on a back burner until he sorts out this […]
Starbucks Announces: Come for Joe Not for John
November 18, 2011
The Starbucks in New York City announced they will be closing their bathrooms to the public. Apparently they grew tired of being the hangout for the homeless and the guy using the Wi-Fi for ten hours while only sipping one coffee. I can respect the challenge to keep the place classy when it’s full of […]
Astronauts or AstroNots
November 17, 2011
Dear NASA, I saw your job posting on USAJOBS seeking astronauts. Apparently many veteran astronauts are leaving and NASA will need upwards of fifty-five new astronauts in the next few years. Here’s my favorite part of the job description: “Frequent travel may be required.” I’m glad this detail was included before I applied because I […]
Dear Good Greatsby: What’s on Your Bucket List?
November 16, 2011
The Average Person wondered about my list of things I still wanted to do before death. I was assisted in answering her question by my personal assistant Ken, who took time from his busy schedule of not having a girlfriend. Dear Good Greatsby, Having had a lucky escape, I decided to write a bucket List. […]
Mustache-less Candidates Race to Get Their Grow On
November 14, 2011
Just when it seemed things couldn’t get any worse for Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain following a series of sexual harassment accusations, Cain has now lost the coveted endorsement of the American Mustache Institute. Cain Keeps Stiff Upper Lip After Losing Endorsement of Hairy Upper Lip The American Mustache Institute had first planned to stand […]
Chinglish Fluctuation
November 13, 2011
My friend Andrew took this picture at a local museum as he was about to take the stairs: Back in my day, we were content with traditional stairs and nobody would have even considered the idea of messing with a design that’s been working for thousands of years. Now kids today demand fancy fluctuation stairs […]
Saturday Snack
November 12, 2011
The Fonz is having a great year in 2nd grade. He’s never been so excited about learning and corners me throughout the day to tell me about the solar system or compound words. Of course I was happy to see how enthused he was about learning, but my happiness began to fade this past week […]
Come Again? (Guest Contribution at Educlaytion)
November 11, 2011
Clay over at Educlaytion asked me to contribute to a post on the random things you might say to confuse people who are eavesdropping. Sometimes I suspect the couple at the table next to me seems to be straining to listen in on my conversation, and this is why I always have a snippet of […]
The Good Greatsby’s Tips for Getting Your Spouse’s Attention
November 10, 2011
In yesterday’s post, Muy Caliente! Tips for Adding Spice to Your Marriage, I responded to an article outlining methods to add some excitement to your marriage. Today I’d like to suggest some of my own time-tested methods for keeping Mrs. Good Greatsby interested in yours truly. #1 Leave each other notes around the house from […]
Muy Caliente! Tips for Adding Spice to Your Marriage
November 9, 2011
A friend sent me an article on 7 Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage with the suggestion it might make a good blog post, although it’s also possible she sent it at my wife’s request. My wife and I don’t need any help in the spice department. If anything, my marriage has too much spice. […]
Why Doesn’t Everyone Like Me as Much as LinkedIn?
November 8, 2011
Dear LinkedIn, How have I suddenly become so popular, so connected, so linked in? Every day I get another email inviting me to join someone’s network on LinkedIn. All of a sudden I’m Mr. Popular even though I can’t remember the last time anyone ever invited me to a party without first asking if my wife […]
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November 19, 2011
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