My favorite search term this week:
justin bieber takes fraternety test
I think the searcher meant paternity test because Bieber is only sixteen years old and won’t need to worry about joining a college fraternity for a couple more years. He definitely should put fraternity considerations on a back burner until he sorts out this paternity business.
…..
My ten-year-old son, Optimist Prime, is always starting new businesses. You may not have heard of any of these businesses because they usually close after a day or two or sometimes after a minute or two. I found a contract he and a friend had signed outlining terms for a new business they were starting for a magazine called Sports with Illustrations. The idea for this business came only a couple days after I bought him a Sports Illustrated magazine. Hmm…I wonder where he got the idea for the name.
…..
Optimist Prime is a pretty smart kid. He’s only ten years old and read the new 560-page Steve Jobs biography this past week. That was the intellectual high point of the week. The low point was when the song SexyBack by Justin Timberlake was playing and he told me he didn’t like it, and I told him I had a soft spot for the song because it made me think of America ever since President Obama played the song at his inauguration. And Optimist Prime believed me. It’s pretty hard to fool him anymore and because I consider teasing the kids one of my most important parental responsibilities, knowing I had successfully tricked him became one of the high points of my week.
…..
Turkey trot on over and vote in the caption contest.
…..
If hotcakes really sell like hotcakes, why isn’t there a single hotcake company listed on the Fortune 500?
The Good Greatsby 
becomingcliche
November 19, 2011
A fraternity test may have meant rush week. Hope they left him with his head in the toilet after his swirlie. He might sound better.
The Good Greatsby
November 20, 2011
It’s sad that Bieber thinks he needs to join a fraternity just to make friends and hopefully meet some girls.
Todd Pack
November 19, 2011
I think it’s great that Optimist Prime went to the trouble of actually drawing up a contract! That shows he’s thinking things through, except when it comes to the name of the magazine. I think Time Warner would have a problem with the name, although a cease-and-desist letter would be a cool thing for Optimist to mention in his college-entrance essay someday!
The Good Greatsby
November 20, 2011
Most of his passion for starting businesses involves discussions of contracts, titles, and plans for spending the money. I’ve yet to see much in the way of actual selling of product.
ichoosehappynow
November 19, 2011
Your son cracks me up. That’s awesome that he is so detailed that he wrote a contract.
Have a great weekend.
Cheers,
Louise
She's a Maineiac
November 19, 2011
So what did OP think of the Steve Jobs book?
And do you have any other photos of Justin without those disturbing glasses, perfectly coiffed ‘do and sparkly earrings? Please? I prefer to start my weekends with less shuddering.
The Good Greatsby
November 20, 2011
We both read the book and had the same impression that Steve Jobs was one of our century’s most brilliant jerks.
She's a Maineiac
November 20, 2011
Ha! God, if only I could aspire to be brilliant or a jerk one day….
Erynn Elizabeth
November 22, 2011
I really have to agree. Something about the juxtaposition of the image of an 8 year old girl and the words “paternity test” just doesn’t sit right.
Laura
November 19, 2011
If you suspected Justin Bieber might be your brother, would you make him take a fraternity test? Or do you think you’d be better off not knowing?
The Good Greatsby
November 20, 2011
I would become an immediate defender of any newly discovered multimillionaire brother.
skippingstones
November 19, 2011
I love the posts that feature your kids, they’re so funny and cute. OP is already more of a grownup than I am.
The Good Greatsby
November 20, 2011
Sometimes I feel that way too. OP is usually the one telling me my behavior has crossed the line of what’s respectable for my age.
gerknoop
November 20, 2011
I have this feeling that OP will be adding to the family wealth one day as he becomes an exceptionally successful business man! I can just feel it in my bones…and the fonz? I see inventions in his future…I …bet anything he… will figure out how to make that invisible cloak thingy one day. Or he’ll be a stand up comedian……
The Good Greatsby
November 20, 2011
I believe in their future prospects to such an extent that I’m spending all their college funds now.
Snoring Dog Studio
November 20, 2011
I love that song, “Sexy Back,” however, I’ve always assumed it meant the anatomical “back.” Backs can be sexy. They can also be quite unattractive. I’m thinking of a bad sunburn. Or a very, very hairy back.
Sports with Illustrations! Hilarious! I’d watch sports if they were only shown with illustrations and not the stupid video playbacks. I mean cartoon illustrations.
Dana
November 20, 2011
How long will you leave OP thinking that Obama played SexyBack at his inauguration? A few more days? Forever?
The Good Greatsby
November 20, 2011
It will probably depend on whether Obama wins a second term and whether OP watches the next inauguration.
rumpydog
November 20, 2011
Your kid is pretty creative. A contract though? LOL
Kathryn McCullough
November 20, 2011
Fraternity jest is more like it.
gojulesgo
November 20, 2011
I think you need to recommend the songs for all future presidential inaugurations.
John Erickson
November 20, 2011
So when do we get the review of Jobs’ biography?
frigginloon
November 20, 2011
I have a Beiber block on my computer. A great app that blocks out any article or photo concerning this pre-pubescent punk. I am also seriously thinking about getting the Demi – Ashton block aswell !!!!
cooper
November 20, 2011
so…which fraternity? I Felta Thigh? A Kegga Day? Signa Phi Nothing?
Angie Z.
November 20, 2011
Good one! Although none of those would even have him.
Angie Z.
November 20, 2011
My all-time favorite search term on my blog was: “Search underwear and then leave comment on blog.” I was so thankful my Underoos post that week led that person right to me.
Lenore Diane
November 20, 2011
Waffle House SHOULD be a Fortune 500. You probably don’t know about Waffle House. If you’re ever in GA…. go to one. Order the has browns: scattered, double and covered.
Those go faster than hotcakes.
The Good Greatsby
November 20, 2011
Is that what a hotcake is? I’m not even sure of the definition of a hotcake or whether I’ve ever had one.
Binky
November 20, 2011
I’m demanding Mr. Bieber take a fraternity test because I’m sure he’s my long-lost half-brother, and I could use a few million (dollars, not brothers).
pattisj
November 20, 2011
Did you mean fruit salad instead of side salad? Seeing the Beebs made me wonder. You take good care of OP, he’ll be takin’ care of you one day. 🙂
The Hook
November 24, 2011
I have to tell you, seeing that punk with the lesbian haircut is NOT a good way to start a visit to this awesome site! Just saying….
obsidianfactory
November 25, 2011
Wow, your kid is pretty smart 😀 a prodigy