Subscribe:
RSS feed
Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All posts tagged under »satire«
In Case You Haven’t Heard, I’m a Big Huge Gigantic Success; I’m Finally Getting the Recognition I’ve Always Claimed I Deserve
It took some time to realize the ghosts running WordPress had selected me for Freshly Pressed because I had reserved the morning for polishing my medals, and there’s no computer in my trophy room. What a fun coincidence I would be sequestered in my awards room polishing my awards at the same time I won […]
Things I Carry in My Pocket for the Sole Purpose of Confusing the Police in the Event of My Untimely Death
April 7, 2011
I hope to live a long and multiple award-winning life, but in the event of my untimely death my last thoughts will be on the police officers rifling through my pockets as they investigate the crime. In addition to my wallet and house keys they will find: 1. An elaborate treasure map leading to the […]
Select Your King Caption
April 6, 2011
Make sure and vote in this week’s caption contest. The winner will receive the following prizes: 1. The honorary title King Caption. 2. Will be allowed to butt in buffet lines with no repercussions. 3. Will be allowed to eat whatever he or she wants for one week and won’t gain weight (I will be […]
How to Quit Your Job
April 5, 2011
I lived in Germany for several years, and when you live abroad and speak a foreign language all day, you make friends with other native English speakers with whom you have nothing else in common except the language. The only thing keeping you together is a chance to speak English and to share similar insights […]
Caption Contest: MattJ Awarded Can-do Attitude! Who Can Can-don’t His Can-do?
April 3, 2011
MattJ has done it again, securing the rights to the title Captain Caption for another week! MattJ has also been awarded a ‘can-do’ attitude. Your confidence will be felt by others, including oncoming traffic, allowing you to make left-hand turns at any place and any time. No matter how fast those cars seem to be […]
Practical Jokes that Go too Far
April 1, 2011
April Fools Day! The one day of the year set aside for pranks and practical jokes. The one day of the year I set aside to remind myself never to play a practical joke again. I used to come up with the best ideas for practical jokes. I’d work so hard to develop an elaborate […]
How to Manipulate People into Throwing You a Party
March 31, 2011
You deserve recognition! You deserve to be celebrated! But when was the last time someone threw you a party? How long have you been waiting for someone to suggest an epic gala celebrating your humanity, good looks, and intelligence? Or if those attributes are not possessed by you in proportions worthy of a giant party, […]
Elect Your Caption King or Queen!
March 30, 2011
Thank you for your outstanding submissions. I hate excluding anyone and I considered narrowing the captions down to thirty-five instead of five, but I realized thirty-five wouldn’t meet the strictest definition of ‘narrowing down’ since I received exactly thirty-five submissions. If you feel your submission was more deserving than any of these five, please remind […]
Breaking News Fixed: Russian President Medvedev Debuts Sultry-Look-Diplomacy
March 28, 2011
Once again I bring you the news headlines I would have preferred to see attached to the following pictures: 1. Russian President Medvedev Demands UN Halt Libya Military Action; Recommends Shift in Strategy to Sultry-Look-Diplomacy 2. Political Retirement Rumors Gain Steam as Medvedev Submits Headshot to Russian Version of The Mentalist 3. Controversy Erupts as […]
Recent Comments
Huffington Post Comedy
Five Times:
Columns in Time Out Shanghai Magazine
The Good Greatsby 
April 8, 2011
82