After years and years of therapy I remember the day I made my big breakthrough.
I had prepared a slideshow so I could point out to Dr. Thomas all the people who had held me back in life or wronged me in some way.
In the middle of slide #47, ‘Little League Coaches, Scoutmasters, Librarians, and County Fair Judges’, Dr. Thomas interjected with words I’ll never forget: “When you point the finger of blame at someone else, you’re pointing three fingers at yourself.”
I froze as my eyes darted to my index finger pointing out Troop Leader Hansen awarding me second place in the Pinewood Derby, and I realized he was right, three of my fingers were pointing right back at me.
So now, just to be clear, I’ve started pointing out blame with all five fingers.
Posted in: Short-Sleeve Stories
The Good Greatsby 
Girly
April 2, 2011
That’s an excellent idea – an accusation and a confirmation – you pointing all five fingers says, “It’s all your fault – let’s shake on it”
The Good Greatsby
April 3, 2011
I’m going to add the handshake to seal the blame. If they later refuse to accept the blame I’ll say, “But we shook on it.”
lifeintheboomerlane
April 2, 2011
I seriously love this post, although it did take me awhile to plod through all the math. And I kept getting distracted by whatever the thumb was doing. But I do seriously love it.
laurenrantnrave
April 2, 2011
Your post is not only thought provoking but visually compelling, as well. I feel like adding “what’s the point” but that would just be a bad pun. 🙂
ryoko861
April 2, 2011
Er……no, you’re just folding those fingers down and your thumb is keeping them there to keep your from bitch slapping the jerk!
Lenore Diane
April 2, 2011
Therapy for you? I mean, this post comes on the heals of your “Practical Jokes that Go too Far” post. Oh, the irony. Excellent.
And Girly, “Pointing all five fingers says, “It’s all your fault – let’s shake on it.”” was seriously funny.
The Good Greatsby
April 3, 2011
‘People Who Didn’t Appreciate the Hard Work I Put into Practical Jokes’ was slide #62.
Renee Davies
April 2, 2011
Hahaha..”In the middle of slide 47″ That’s an exhaustive treatment of the people who ‘ gone and done’ you wrong.
Laura
April 3, 2011
Have you ever considered pointing the fist of blame? Sure, you wind up with four fingers pointing back at you, but the actual fist is still pointing at the person you’re blaming, which makes them more likely to accept the blame without an argument. Also, Fist of Blame would be a great title for a whiny martial arts movie.
Renee Davies
April 3, 2011
Fist of Blame could be the sequel to Fist Full of Dollars.
The Good Greatsby
April 3, 2011
‘Fist of Blame’, I like it.
Some day you may be pointing a fist of blame at me for stealing your movie idea.
marryin'thelibrarian
April 3, 2011
I can hear the mechanism in Vinn Diesel’s mind straining to free itself from the rust of neglect . The yet unwritten Fist of Blame screenplay calling to him like a ninja siren.
modestypress
April 3, 2011
I tried to find something that combined guilt, blame, and finger. The best I’ve been able to come up with is the Gefilte fish of of bliss. http://www.cyber-kitchen.com/recipes/Gefilte_Fish_Story.htm
spilledinkguy
April 3, 2011
Did you use… Power’Point’?!
Blah ha ha ha ha!
Blah ha ha ha ha!
Ah ha!
Ah ha!
Ah ha!
Eh.
🙂
Bella
April 3, 2011
This post provided me with a much needed chuckle today! Thanks for that! And from here on in, I too will be pointing with all five fingers, FYI. 🙂
ajg
April 3, 2011
when you point a finger of blame, you’re also pointing one thumb at the devil, and that’s where my dad said people go when they start talking about riddles and magic of finger pointing.
Rachael Black
April 3, 2011
This sounds suspiciously like a Twelve Step Program exercise. Minus Seven Steps of course.
You could make a million or five.
Step One: Fire Therapist
robinaltman
April 3, 2011
I’m still laughing at “County Fair Judges” being ton the list of people who held you back in life. I’m going to make my own list for fun, and I’m pointing with my middle finger.
shreejacob
April 3, 2011
Well, it is said that it’s rude to point a finger at people. So pointing all five would be just about right I think, though just make sure you don’t raise your arm and do that! That’ll put you in trouble!!
omawarisan
April 3, 2011
Slide #48: Dr. Thomas
The Good Greatsby
April 4, 2011
Ha! If only he hadn’t interrupted me, I would have gotten to the ‘Therapists and School Counselors’ slide.
madtante
April 3, 2011
As my current Sponsor recently told me (and I really thank her for this cos I like NOTHING better than beating myself up), “Sometimes you really are the victim. If you had no power in the situation, that wasn’t your bad.”
I wrote a post years about that rattled off a bunch of people who told you, “You can’t” or “You’ll never” or whatever, then pointed out how I’d proved them wrong. People who say shit like that are barfing out their own insecurities. It rarely has anything to do with the recipient. While it took me years to understand that, I knew even as a kid that I’d lived through more “adversity” than the adult telling me some BS like that. One of those, “You have no idea who you’re talking to” things.
Binky
April 4, 2011
It’s important to blame someone for your failings, especially when you have so many of them. Not that I’m blaming you, of course.
Calhoun
April 4, 2011
I live in a studio apartment so I don’t really have anyone else to blame when things go wrong here.
Then I got a dog, so I take every opportunity to blame my dog, Karl.
“karl, that’s disgusting! Seriously buddy, you need to remember to flush!”
Lori
April 4, 2011
Maybe that’s what I’m missing…a therapist to teach me how to blame others and have it stick? Do you think you could refer me to Dr. Thomas?
(lmao)
marryin'thelibrarian
April 8, 2011
If you want to point the hand of blame at us professionals dedicated to keeping library shelves stocked with high quality reading and viewing resources–fine. And while we’re on the topic of fine, I thought I’d mention you still owe $76.50 for the overdue slide projector.