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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All posts tagged under »satire«
Friday Love Letters: Dear Zooey Deschanel, Part Two
Dear Zooey, On Wednesday, I should have guessed something was amiss when my wife asked me not to use the Internet all day for my own safety because she warned the Internet might be haunted. When I finally did try and use the Internet, I found the router had been doused in water. The entire […]
The Take a Sip Punctuation
November 3, 2011
In comedy, there are many differences between the written and the spoken word. One of my favorite kinds of humor is the paraprosdokian, a figure of speech where the latter part of the sentence changes what you had expected based on the first part. If there’s one thing I really like about him…I can’t think […]
Dear Good Greatsby Reveals His Fake-itude
November 2, 2011
And today’s question comes from The Daily Retort‘s Tor Constantino, who seems to be skeptical of the authenticity of The Good Greatsby’s glasses. Dear G2, Are those prescription glasses you wear in your photos or are they simply the fakey fashion kind to make you look smarter – know what I mean? Some people dress […]
The Fame Game: 7 Billion Served
November 1, 2011
This morning I read two depressing news stories and saw an even more depressing connection. I don’t want to give you bad news so early in the morning, especially when you may be suffering from a post-Halloween sugar hangover, so allow me to preface the bad news with a cute picture of a tiger and […]
Happy Halloween!
October 31, 2011
We decorated our yard for Halloween yesterday, and because most people don’t genuinely fear plastic skeletons and fake cobwebs, I always like to include something that plays on a genuine fear. This year I chose fear of flying: I’m really pleased with how the smoke turned out. The trick-or-treaters will be here any minute, but […]
Chinglish Guts
October 30, 2011
Here’s a new candy bar I just found here in Shanghai, although the packaging on the back is in Korean: Seems like ‘Guts’ would be the perfect candy bar to give out at Halloween. If you’re considering going as Kate Winslet for Halloween, you might be interested in this ‘Magical Plumping Breast Mask’ she appears […]
Saturday Hallowiener
October 29, 2011
My seven-year-old son, The Fonz, came downstairs and told his brother, “I just made a book and you can’t read it.” Optimist Prime barely looked up from his book before answering, “Okay.” “It’s full of secrets and you can’t see any of them.” “That’s fine.” “It’s full of secret codes and mysteries. Not even you […]
Scary Posts You May Have Missed
October 27, 2011
I complied a list of past posts that might be relevant before Halloween and guarantee you’ll be the hit of every party. In yesterday’s post some readers mentioned they weren’t familiar with Rebecca Black of ‘Friday’ fame, maybe because they were too busy wasting time reading books. Read how the song Friday haunted me so […]
What Do Justin Bieber, Gaddhafi’s Hat, and Hanging Chads Have in Common?
October 26, 2011
Just when you thought you had the perfect topical Halloween costume planned, the biebshell story broke late yesterday. Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez adopted a puppy together. And now isn’t it obvious everyone at your office will be scrambling to jump on the biebwagon and create a GoBiebz puppy costume? You probably remember exactly where […]
Monsters Groan For Equal Rights
October 25, 2011
Monsters have made great strides in the last few decades as society becomes more and more tolerant and chooses to celebrate our differences. This means vampires, zombies, and werewolves have emerged from the shadows figuratively, although they often remain in the shadows literally. But some critics worry tolerance of monsters has gone too far and […]
Tips for Introducing Your Monster Boyfriend
October 24, 2011
Your parents never like the guys you bring home. They just can’t understand why you always seem to be attracted to bad boys. They called your last boyfriend a ‘monster’; how will they react when they learn your new boyfriend really is a monster? Literally. We may be living in a progressive age but don’t […]
Chinglish Medicine Cabinet
October 23, 2011
Whenever a doctor prescribes medicine for an embarrassing condition, I’m usually not worried about leaving it in the medicine cabinet because nobody will understand miconazole nitrate is a treatment for foot fungus, except maybe my friend Andrew, who is the type to look things up on Wikipedia and also the type to look through a […]
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November 4, 2011
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