What Do Justin Bieber, Gaddhafi’s Hat, and Hanging Chads Have in Common?

Posted on October 26, 2011


Just when you thought you had the perfect topical Halloween costume planned, the biebshell story broke late yesterday.

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez adopted a puppy together.  And now isn’t it obvious everyone at your office will be scrambling to jump on the biebwagon and create a GoBiebz puppy costume?

You probably remember exactly where you were and what you were doing when you learned about the GoBiebz puppy, especially if you learned about it by reading the story here a few seconds ago.  And now you need a topical Halloween costume even more topical than GoBiebPupz because everyone knows if you can’t be clever, be topical.  Of course, if you can combine clever and topical you’ll be the hit of every Halloween party.  Or if you’re not the type to get invited to Halloween parties, well, maybe you should throw your own party and invite me to come, although I can’t guarantee attendance until I’ve asked around to find out why you’re the type of person who never gets invited to parties.  If the reason has anything to do with multilevel marketing, I probably won’t come.

Here are a few topical suggestions that might be even cooler than GoPupzBieb:

Princess Beatrice’s fascinator

If you want to go easy, just make and wear the hat.  If you want to go all out, create a giant fascinator you can fit inside and create a Forrest Gump-ish back story about your life and how you accidentally stumbled into becoming a part of history as Princess Beatrice’s hat.

Gaddhafi’s Hat

We know Gaddhafi is gone, but what happened to Gaddhafi’s hat?  He’s been wearing that hat for decades and I kept expecting the news coverage to make some note of whether his hat had been held for questioning or damaged.  Now I worry something terrible may have happened to the hat even though it was innocent of any crimes until proven guilty.  The saddest part is knowing that hat only had two days left until retirement.

NBA Player

This costume is incredibly simple because the NBA is currently locked out.  You don’t have to wear a uniform and can get by with just wearing a suit, although the suit will need to look like it cost 10,000 dollars.  You’ll also need to be really, really tall.  It will also help if you’re black.

Any of Rebecca Black’s friends ‘kickin’ in the front seat’ or ‘sittin’ in the back seat’ of the car in the Friday music video

Lots of people will dress as Rebecca Black, but wouldn’t it be even cooler to dress up as one of the girls who chose to sit in the back seat or one of the boys from the front seat?  Or better yet, what if you and a friend dress up as a duo and one of you is the front seat and one of you is the back seat, and if you both meet someone you like, you can sing together, ” Kickin’ in the front seat, Sittin’ in the back seat, Gotta make my mind up, Which seat can I take?”

If none of these topical costumes feel like a match, you can go in the opposite direction and try for ironically untopical:

A hanging chad from 2000’s disputed presidential election.

The Verizon Wireless “Can you hear me now?” guy first introduced in 2002.

Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction from 2004.

The Teapot Dome from the Teapot Dome scandal of 1922 that gave the Harding administration so much trouble.

Posted in: Columns