
My seven-year-old son, The Fonz, came downstairs and told his brother, “I just made a book and you can’t read it.”
Optimist Prime barely looked up from his book before answering, “Okay.”
“It’s full of secrets and you can’t see any of them.”
“That’s fine.”
“It’s full of secret codes and mysteries. Not even you can read it, Dad.”
I answered, “No problem. I got plenty of books to read.”
“Yup. Nobody can read my secret book.”
“Yeah, we heard you the first time.”
He sighed and went back upstairs.
You’d feel bad for him if he didn’t do this twice a day. Sometimes he asks for a little brother, and I know it’s just so he’ll have a new person to whom he can say, “I bet you’d like to know my secret,” and the little brother would be naive enough to say ‘yes’ a dozen times until he learned The Fonz would either never tell him, or if he did, the secrets would never be worth all the effort.
A few days ago, The Fonz was holding his crotch and said his wiener hurt. I asked him what happened, and he answered, “It feels like my wiener just got kicked in the shins.”
It’s been over twenty-five years since I’d laughed at anything with wiener in the punch line.
Submit a caption in the caption contest or take the risk of getting kicked in the Hallowiener.
…..
This week I received a search for ‘the goo greatsby’. Do not be fooled by imitations.
Sandi
October 29, 2011
Your kid’s costumes are so fun! I wanna be a Lego man!
Bridgesburning Chris King
October 29, 2011
I am impressed by Legoman and Robot…I will be glad to want to pretend to read the secret not so secret book…..I can beg just to satisfy his need to express NO! 🙂 and then pout…
bigsheepcommunications
October 29, 2011
I’m concerned – is the weiner okay?
The Good Greatsby
October 30, 2011
It seemed to stop hurting him just as soon as we started laughing at him.
Margie
October 29, 2011
When I was a child, if one of my friends said they had a secret, I would reply, “I have a secret too.” That really changes the direction of the conversation…
thelifeofjamie
October 29, 2011
Tell him not to be a Halloweenie…(you said weiner!)
Andrew Zahn
October 29, 2011
Better entertainment on this blog than Saturday morning cartoons.
The Fonz–has he even been introduces to Happy Days?
k8edid
October 29, 2011
I love the costumes – what will they be this year? My boys, Pancho and Lefty, do not even know the word secret – if they know something (especially if it concerns weiners) they gotta tell it.
joe knight
October 29, 2011
I would like to know The Fonz’s secrets. Have him post his book here, and you promise him you won’t read it. I think that will work.
The Good Greatsby
October 30, 2011
He’ll be thrilled to hear someone is interested. I’ll relay the message, but I’m pretty sure he’ll reply that he’s flattered by your interest but he can’t reveal his secrets.
gerknoop
October 29, 2011
Great post! Have a happy Halloweenie! Thx Jamie! GOOD ONE! 🙂
Snoring Dog Studio
October 30, 2011
Your children are gems. I love hearing their conversations, even when it’s about wieners. As long as they don’t tweet pics of their wieners, you’ll be alright, GG.
Is your hand in the making of those costumes?
The Good Greatsby
October 30, 2011
I did most of the heavy lifting on the robot costume and my wife did more on the Lego costume.
Laura
October 30, 2011
I feel kind of bad about laughing at a 7-year-old’s pain. Not bad enough to stop, but still kind of bad.
The Good Greatsby
October 30, 2011
I’m pretty steadfast in my refusal to ever laugh at crotch-related humor, but this one seemed to be worth it.
Bearman
October 30, 2011
Good thing for him I already had this design up
http://www.cafepress.com/wacksack.166386855
Louise
October 30, 2011
Speaking from experience, boys are so funny. I love the costumes too.
Cheers,
Louise
John Erickson
October 30, 2011
Thank you for telling me that last picture was a Lego man. Not being possessed of children, my mind was drifting in the direction of “Twinkie Man”.
pattisj
October 30, 2011
Creative costumes! I, too, am curious as to the contents of that book…don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep tonight.
The Good Greatsby
October 30, 2011
I just tell myself if the secrets were so good and so important, he wouldn’t advertise so much.
stuffialmostbought
October 30, 2011
That robot costume is hilarious! And the pose…Gold. I think it’s the washing up gloves that really make each outfit.
Jess Witkins
October 30, 2011
Both of these costumes are brilliant! How did Lego Man see?
She's a Maineiac
November 1, 2011
I was wondering the same thing. Of course my son would love to have a bucket head and be able to run into walls all the live long day.
Kathryn McCullough
October 30, 2011
Who kicked your kid in the ass?
Binky
October 30, 2011
With that clock on there and all those wires, I thought Robo-Man might have been Time-Bomb-Man. “Give me all your candy or I’ll detonate!”
The Good Greatsby
October 30, 2011
Maybe he should reuse the costume again this year and give Time-Bomb-Man a chance.
Renee Schuls-Jacobson
October 30, 2011
This year my son is going in drag. Should I be concerned? You know because he looks prettier than me? 😉
Great costumes!
Ape No. 1
October 30, 2011
The front of the leg shins or the band The Shins? The Lego Man costume is classic!
Ricky Anderson
October 30, 2011
Can’t wait until my son starts talking and being ridiculous. Right now I have to hold both sides of the conversation, which garners strange looks from my wife.
HoaiPhai
October 31, 2011
Both are great costumes but the robot looks an awful lot like my central air. Too bad, GG. You missed a “great” opportunity. While the Fonz was trying to get O.P. interested in his book, you should have gone upstairs and read it yourself!