Mitt Romney Never Lies Down on the Jobs

Posted on July 20, 2012


Mitt Romney would like you to believe he’s the presidential candidate most qualified to create jobs.

But in an exclusive interview, sources inside the Romney camp have revealed a dark side to Romney’s jobs plan:

Yes, he has a plan to add hundreds of thousands of jobs.

But, he plans to fill every one of those jobs himself.

My sources have revealed that even while running for president, Romney has managed to hold down dozens of part-time jobs, all to be revealed the day before the election.

The message to voters will be clear: Not only can I create jobs better than Obama, I can do more jobs than Obama.

Perhaps you’ve already seen Romney around the country working at one of his many jobs like at this diner outside Boston where Romney serves pancakes every morning:

Or tending bar in New York every evening–just ask for one of his famous Romney-milkshakes:

When he bags your groceries, this is one presidential candidate who knows the eggs go on top:

His part-time work as an air stewardess fits perfectly with all the travel he’s required to do while running for president:

He hopes to convince voters his work as a butcher qualifies him to cut all the pork from the federal budget.

He says he doesn’t do it for the tips, but just look at his face in this picture taken immediately after a customer left less than 15%:

And he just can’t say no to babysitting work. Even while campaigning he always seems to have a baby in his arms:

I admit I’m impressed by Romney’s work ethic, but all these jobs could have been filled by the many, many unemployed Americans. If Romney is elected president, who’s to say how many jobs he’ll personally fill?

And who knows; your job might be next.