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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All posts tagged under »family«
Dear Good Greatsby: Greatsby’s Homemade Gift Ideas
Today’s seasonal question comes from She’s a Maineiac, who seeks suggestions for Christmas on a budget. Dear Good Greatsby, Money is tight this holiday season, yet my kids are still expecting lots of expensive gifts. I’ve been out exhaustively hunting for great deals, but I’m fresh out of pepper spray. How can I convice them […]
Saturday Side Salad
November 19, 2011
My favorite search term this week: justin bieber takes fraternety test I think the searcher meant paternity test because Bieber is only sixteen years old and won’t need to worry about joining a college fraternity for a couple more years. He definitely should put fraternity considerations on a back burner until he sorts out this […]
Saturday Snack
November 12, 2011
The Fonz is having a great year in 2nd grade. He’s never been so excited about learning and corners me throughout the day to tell me about the solar system or compound words. Of course I was happy to see how enthused he was about learning, but my happiness began to fade this past week […]
Saturday Platter
November 5, 2011
When the kids were considering Halloween costumes, The Fonz wished Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak existed so he could go as the invisible man. I told him I’d actually read a story about scientists developing an invisibility cloak and he grew excited. “How much does it cost?” “It’s not for sale. It’s just an experiment.” “Where […]
Happy Halloween!
October 31, 2011
We decorated our yard for Halloween yesterday, and because most people don’t genuinely fear plastic skeletons and fake cobwebs, I always like to include something that plays on a genuine fear. This year I chose fear of flying: I’m really pleased with how the smoke turned out. The trick-or-treaters will be here any minute, but […]
Saturday Hallowiener
October 29, 2011
My seven-year-old son, The Fonz, came downstairs and told his brother, “I just made a book and you can’t read it.” Optimist Prime barely looked up from his book before answering, “Okay.” “It’s full of secrets and you can’t see any of them.” “That’s fine.” “It’s full of secret codes and mysteries. Not even you […]
Saturday Salad: Dressing on the Side
October 22, 2011
My seven-year-old, The Fonz, showed me a story he’s writing and the first sentence made me laugh: Once upon a time 3 kids were best friends named Jay, Henry and most of all Jack. Here was an opening line that sucked me right in and I had to keep reading to find out why Jack […]
Saturday Surprise
October 15, 2011
A father remembers the moment when after years of letting his son win, the kid sprints past him and wins all on his own. Most of this ‘allowing to win’ pertains to sports and board games but not video games since babies today are born with advanced Super Mario skills far exceeding those of their […]
The Fonz is All Ears…Unless You’re Calling His Name
October 13, 2011
As a child I remember being reprimanded a lot for not listening, as though turning off my ears had been a conscious decision. Adults swore they had told me something important, and I had nodded acknowledgement, but all details of the conversation eluded me. I remember a lot of conversations ending with, “Do you understand […]
Smack Talk 101: Can I get you a bowl of smackaroni and cheese?
October 11, 2011
Smack talk is not my strong suit. Some people think half the fun of a fantasy football league is sending taunting emails and texts to other players, but I’ve never liked mean humor and I have a hard time getting into the spirit of being one of the guys while worrying about crossing the line. […]
Saturday Brain Biscuits & Gravy
October 8, 2011
My seven-year-old son, The Fonz, is very interested in zombies right now, and when he overheard me mention I had watched an episode of the AMC zombie show, The Walking Dead, he started asking if he could watch it despite my warnings it was much too scary. I finally let him watch an advertisement for […]
Saturday Mimosa
October 1, 2011
My seven-year-old, The Fonz, was telling my wife the sound he hated to hear above all others was the sound of scratchy markers. My wife said there were lots of other things people hated to hear, and The Fonz replied, “You mean like, ‘I don’t love you. I love him,’ or ‘I want a divorce’?” […]
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November 30, 2011
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