My seven-year-old, The Fonz, was telling my wife the sound he hated to hear above all others was the sound of scratchy markers. My wife said there were lots of other things people hated to hear, and The Fonz replied, “You mean like, ‘I don’t love you. I love him,’ or ‘I want a divorce’?” Not exactly what she meant, but she had to agree most people don’t like to hear those sounds.
…..
My ten-year-old, Optimist Prime, acted as emcee yesterday in a series of skits at a school assembly. So many people commented on what a great job he had done, and I reflected at how mature he was becoming and how fast he seemed to be growing up. I almost felt melancholy until he came downstairs this morning wearing a shirt with two different buttons in the wrong holes and half his collar tucked in, and I felt relieved that he still had so much for me to teach him.
…..
Don’t forget to submit a caption in the caption contest. The finalists will be announced Sunday 6AM EST. A caption contest victory added to your resume might just be the difference-maker that secures your next job, although it will help if you could somehow be related to the interviewer.
…..
The Fonz watched his mom making a dinner he wasn’t looking forward to and he remarked that he wouldn’t be able to eat it and would get skinny. “Do you want me to become a mime?” he asked.
She didn’t see the connection and asked what being skinny had to do with being a mime, and he answered, “Have you ever seen a fat mime?” She laughed for a moment and he left the room, only to return a short time later and ask, “What’s a mime?”
…..
I’ve seen mimes on stage and on TV, but has anyone actually seen a mime in the wild in their natural habitat?
…..
Those kids need a father figure...to get them into the best parties.
The Good Greatsby will be updated throughout the weekend with any breaking news in the Ashton Kutcher-Demi Moore saga. Of course I’m rooting for them to pull through and stay together for the kids. Dashton doesn’t have any kids, but I mean stay together for the kids Demi had with Bruce Willis, and those kids love having Ashton in their lives because they get in to way more parties by saying ‘my stepdad is Ashton Kutcher’ than by saying ‘my real dad used to be on Moonlighting in the ’80s’.
The Good Greatsby 
psychodynamom
October 1, 2011
Fun blog. Glad I stumbled across it.
Girly
October 1, 2011
It’s cute when kids have the buttons in the wrong holes… of course when grown men do, especially when they come home from work, it usually means they’re having an affair.
The Good Greatsby
October 2, 2011
My wife thought his mismatched buttons were so cute, but it sounds like you’re saying I shouldn’t try and duplicate that look.
thelifeofjamie
October 1, 2011
It’s amazing, he takes over Charlie Sheen’s role and bam- he starts being a douche…
madtante
October 1, 2011
Having worked in France…actually, I’ve only been accosted by mimes in STL. They exist and I only have to say the pussies who are afraid of clowns need to get some mimes up in their grilles. Mimes eat clowns.
The Good Greatsby
October 2, 2011
I wouldn’t say I’m scared of either clowns or mimes, but I definitely run when I see them coming.
limr
October 2, 2011
Mmmm, mimosa…
I hate the sound of metal on metal or teeth. Washing silverware is horrifying. Being at the table with a person who pulls the fork out between her (it’s usually women who do this) teeth instead of her lips makes me want to grab the fork and stab that person in the eye.
That’s how I really feel.
Glynis Sylvia
October 2, 2011
Thanks for taking away all the “fun” of saying, “Tell us how you really feel.”
The Good Greatsby
October 2, 2011
But I bet that fork in the eye sound wouldn’t be pleasant either.
John Erickson
October 2, 2011
Mimes are endangered, but can be found in the “artists loft” areas and tourist centres of some major US cities. They used to be quite prevalent, but have been hunted to near extinction. Only a nationwide conservation campaign has served to preserve the small numbers still visible today. I’m sure you’re all familiar with that campaign slogan:
“A mime is a terrible thing to waste.” (1/2 rimshot.)
Sorry, that’s neither good nor original enough for a full rimshot. But you can keep the change. 😀
gojulesgo
October 2, 2011
I love this post title, but it makes me sad that I can’t make a mimosa. (Because I drank all the champagne last night. True story.)
The mime comment was HILARIOUS! Always love me some Saturday sampler. It gels very well with my attention spa… what was I saying?
The Good Greatsby
October 2, 2011
Mimosas are perfect for brunch, but I should have given warning since most people don’t always have champagne ready in the fridge.
Bearman
October 2, 2011
When Demi was married to Willis were they referred to as Dillis?
Rachael Black
October 2, 2011
You may need to begin looking for a decent manager. The Fonz is going to keep you and the wide in gravy as he gets older.
As an aside: Thankfully for humanity there is no natural habitat for mimes. On the flip side while they do dress like pandas they tend to procreate at the polar (I so tried not use that word) opposite of the beasts.
spilledinkguy
October 2, 2011
I will be miming the rest of my ‘comment’.
Prepare to be amazed.
Penny
October 2, 2011
The Fonze seems to have plenty to teach us all. !! From a child’s mind !!
psychowatcher
October 2, 2011
Never saw a fat mime and we do have them in NOLA.
If I do see one I promise I will take a photo for you to show him!
She's a Maineiac
October 2, 2011
But Moonlighting was such a good show!
I see from my yahoo news today that Dashton stepped out with their wedding rings on…yet things were “tense” and they walked back to their cars separately. Hmm…this is a normal day for me and my husband, so I still await the Good Greatsby’s update…
JM Randolph
October 2, 2011
I picked my kid up from a church event last week with his shirt buttoned like that. His dad got him ready and dropped him off, and approximately eight million people passed him with his shirt mis-buttoned. It was awesome. Your kids are hilarious. I have, in fact, never seen a fat mime.
Glynis Sylvia
October 2, 2011
There’s a reason there are no fat mimes. They don’t fit in the “box”. And trying to stuff their rolls in without audible grunting is too challenging. Who wants to see a grunting, sweating mime? Besides those shirts don’t come in vertical stripes.
pattisj
October 3, 2011
I didn’t think a fork in the eye would make a sound, so I had to experiment. Don’t try this on a mime.
ajg
October 3, 2011
Who’s slated to take the Fonz and Optimist if you guys weiner cancer or barf yourselves to death? I’d like to throw my hat into the race.
Pigeon Heart
October 4, 2011
I am naming my illegitimate child The Fonz. And that’s a wrap. Now… to just get pregnant…
*great blog*
http://pigeonheartponderings.wordpress.com/
HoaiPhai
October 10, 2011
Optimist Prime’s buttons in the wrong holes could be his trademark, like Dangerfield tugging at his tie, should that lad decide to go pro.
Montreal in the ’80s was lousy with mimes, then the government commissioned Cirque du Soleil in a successful attempt to concentrate all of the city’s mimes in one compound and relocate them to various places around the globe.