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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
The Case of Klipspringer’s Shoes–Part 1 of 3
The Comedy Rule of Three is a structure for setting up a punchline: you give two straight lines to establish your meaning is going in one direction, and then the third line is a joke or ironic twist going in another. There’s a musicality and rhythm in listing three that always works better than two […]
Posted in: Columns
I’ll Have My Revenge
February 28, 2011
Someday I’ll have my revenge. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But maybe two days from now at 9:15. You may be wondering AM or PM? I’m not saying, so you’ll have to sweat it out. Although I’ll give you one hint: It will be after American Idol. After I watch American Idol and walk […]
Posted in: Short-Sleeve Stories
What I’m Thinking About While You’re Talking
February 27, 2011
My wife thinks I take too long picking a shirt in the morning…but in the movies, when someone dies, his ghost is stuck wearing those same clothes for eternity.
Posted in: Random Humor
I’ll Never Sell Out!
February 26, 2011
When I was a kid I swore I would never sell out… …but nobody ever asked me to. Not even once. Now I would give anything to have that chance. If you hear of any sell-out opportunities, let me know.
Posted in: Random Humor
A Wise Man Once Said
February 25, 2011
My wife asked me to shave my beard because she claimed to have sensitive skin. I reminded her of the words of Dr. Martin Luther King: “He who has sensitive skin is also sensitive about his neighbor’s skin.” She replied that Martin Luther King couldn’t have said this, so she went to look it up […]
Posted in: Short-Sleeve Stories
Larry King Septuagenarian Hipster Genius
February 24, 2011
I eat blueberries every day and I am better off for it… –Larry King For years Larry King has been mocked and parodied for his unique don’t-learn-anything-about-the-guest interviewing style and his laundry list columns, a rambling catalog of non-sequiturs, name-dropping, plugs, and shamefully obvious observations: I’d buy Britney Spears’ new album, but the store was […]
Posted in: Columns
32″ Samsung HD TV, perfect for watching TV!
February 23, 2011
Here’s an ad I recently posted on Craigslist: Samsung LA32C350D1 HD TV for sale! Do you like watching television? Then why not watch television on your very own 32” Samsung HD TV? Use this TV for watching movies starring Ben Affleck! Or Matt Damon! Or maybe a movie starring both Ben Affleck and Matt Damon! […]
Posted in: Random Humor
Tough Childhood
February 22, 2011
I had a tough childhood, mostly because my dad wasn’t around much. Oftentimes we wouldn’t see him until five or six o’clock in the evenings. And all day on Saturdays. Also, all day Sundays. And he was a teacher at our school, so we ate lunch with him at school, and he had the summers […]
Posted in: Short-Sleeve Stories
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March 1, 2011
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