A Wise Man Once Said

My wife asked me to shave my beard because she claimed to have sensitive skin. I reminded her of the words of Dr. Martin Luther King: “He who has sensitive skin is also sensitive about his neighbor’s skin.”

She replied that Martin Luther King couldn’t have said this, so she went to look it up on the Internet. I reminded her of the words of Gandhi: “Two birds were in a bush and the first was wise and offered counsel, but the second bird showed her pride by desiring documentation of the first bird’s counsel. And the second bird was also a communist.”

Instead of heeding the words of Gandhi, she continued to try and prove me wrong, not only about Martin Luther King’s counsel, but also Gandhi’s. She was unable to find any evidence for or against my quotations, and I reminded her of the words of Jesus: “A woman went down to Galilee and sought counsel from a lighted box, but the box refused to give its light because of the woman’s great pride and also her inability to understand a concept that shall be called search engine logic. And this woman was guilty of great sin…possibly murder.”

She would not back down from the argument, and I reminded her of the words of Hitler on his deathbed: “I never backed down from an argument my whole life and everything turned out for the best.”