Browsing All posts tagged under »microfiction«

We have your ransom note! If you ever want to see your ransom note again, do exactly as we say!

May 1, 2011

66

The ransom note was a masterpiece requiring ten hours of concentration as I meticulously cut letters from old magazines–stolen from the servants quarters’ trash and covered with the servants’ fingerprints–and glued the letters on a sheet of official police stationery I had stolen to make the targets less likely to go to the police. The […]

Wednesday in Three Acts: One Sentence Stories/Tweets You May Have Missed/Caption Contest Finalists

April 13, 2011

43

Act One: Three One Sentence Stories 1. Get a Room! “Get a room, you two!” I shouted at the couple making out in front of me as they stood at the hotel check-in desk, waiting for me to rent them a room. 2. Dance Like Nobody’s Watching “Yes, my pretty, continue to dance like nobody […]

The Mickelsons Are the Worst Neighbors Ever!

April 9, 2011

47

The Mickelsons are the worst neighbors ever! They’re so noisy I can’t get any sleep! I very politely asked them to keep down the noise. But if anything, they started talking louder, even shouting! Again, I asked them to show some decency and lower their voices so I could get some sleep. Then they had […]

Give the Ball to Rocket Arm!

March 29, 2011

27

“Son, I’ve got a surprise. We both know I didn’t make it to any of your Little League baseball games last year, but I’m going to make it up to you by volunteering as your coach this season.” “That’s great, Dad!” “I just returned from meeting with the other coaches, and I’m really excited about […]

Dr. Morality

March 12, 2011

6

I’m willing to listen to my doctor when he limits his advice to health issues. But I bristle when he begins giving me unsolicited counsel on morality! Who gave him the moral authority to call one cholesterol ‘good’ and another cholesterol ‘bad’? Isn’t that for God to decide?

Good News!

March 3, 2011

7

Whenever we attend a family get-together and somebody says they have good news to share, my wife and I shout out, “We’re getting a divorce!” The rest of the evening is spent trying to talk us out of it and always ends with us agreeing to maybe give it one more chance.  On the way […]

I’ll Have My Revenge

February 28, 2011

2

Someday I’ll have my revenge. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But maybe two days from now at 9:15. You may be wondering AM or PM? I’m not saying, so you’ll have to sweat it out. Although I’ll give you one hint: It will be after American Idol. After I watch American Idol and walk […]

Tough Childhood

February 22, 2011

5

I had a tough childhood, mostly because my dad wasn’t around much. Oftentimes we wouldn’t see him until five or six o’clock in the evenings. And all day on Saturdays. Also, all day Sundays. And he was a teacher at our school, so we ate lunch with him at school, and he had the summers […]