Browsing All posts tagged under »Vin Diesel«

Why Aren’t People Talking About Me Behind My Back?

September 30, 2013

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They say ‘success breeds envy,’ and I spend a lot of time wondering: If I’m as successful as I think, why aren’t more people envious of me? And when I say ‘why aren’t more people envious of me?’ I could just as easily write, ‘why aren’t any people envious of me?’ And why aren’t more […]

When I Become Famous: The First 24 Hours

April 10, 2013

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As a kid I never dreamed of being famous. Instead, I dreamed of having a friend who was famous and then telling that person what to do. I wouldn’t want to be famous myself because once I became famous I assume people would look at me with certain expectations, like a famous person should be […]

Very Fast, Moderately Furious

June 25, 2011

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Great news for fans of bad acting and bad movies: Universal Pictures has announced plans for a sixth Fast and Furious movie. The announcement was short on plot details because the computer that writes the Fast and Furious screenplays was on vacation this week.  When the computer returns, the studio will input the following and […]

Where were you when Osama Bin Laden died of boredom while watching Vin Diesel’s Fast Five at a celebration party for William and Kate’s royal wedding?

May 2, 2011

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In recent days we’ve experienced three historical events most people will remember their whole lives: 1. The killing of Osama Bin Laden 2. The royal wedding of William and Kate 3. The debut of the fifth Fast and The Furious film as the top movie over the weekend with $83.6 million–maybe not historically significant today, […]

The Search Engine Oracle Has Spoken

April 30, 2011

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Bloggers receive a list of search terms that lead viewers to their sites.  I assume most people who find my site through a search engine did not find what they were looking for because I have a lot of posts offering satirical advice.  If fifty search engine viewers come to the site each day,  I […]

Larry King Kardashatron Prophet

March 17, 2011

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I know it’s a digital world, but I can’t stand digital watches… –Larry King When the history of mankind is written by our humanoid-Kardashian replacements, we may be surprised by their conclusions.  Some worry mankind will be judged harshly for wars, pollution, and Vin Diesel, but each culture brings its own bias when viewing another, […]

Big government versus limited government

March 6, 2011

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I’ve heard some very persuasive arguments against big government. But I’ve also heard great counter-arguments touting the government’s ability to regulate more efficiently and with more transparency than private enterprise. But can’t all political parties come together to find common ground and agree that some branch of government must get involved and stop Vin Diesel […]

32″ Samsung HD TV, perfect for watching TV!

February 23, 2011

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Here’s an ad I recently posted on Craigslist: Samsung LA32C350D1 HD TV for sale! Do you like watching television? Then why not watch television on your very own 32” Samsung HD TV? Use this TV for watching movies starring Ben Affleck! Or Matt Damon! Or maybe a movie starring both Ben Affleck and Matt Damon! […]