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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All posts tagged under »comedy«
It’s Better to Be Safe Than Friendly
I was watching the news and they said the majority of murder victims are killed by people they know. I bring this up any time my wife tries to get me to meet new people. The fewer people you know, the safer you’ll be. I say no to parent teacher conferences, open houses, book clubs, […]
Starting a To-Do List is on My To-Do List
February 9, 2016
An inventor recently sued 3M for 400 million dollars, claiming he invented the Post-it note back in 1973. He claims his product was called the Press-on and he showed it to 3M executives in 1974. I can’t help wondering why it took him over 40 years to sue. How do you forget someone owes you […]
Adele’s New Single is Selling Like Hot Dogs!
February 2, 2016
When I was a kid everyone gave me career advice. Dad said, ‘Paul, you’ve got to study computers. Computers are selling like hotcakes.’ My brother said, ‘You’ve got to study programming. Dotcoms are selling like hotcakes.’ My brother-in-law told me, ‘Study real estate. You gotta flip properties. They’re selling like hotcakes.’ I gave it some […]
Indifferent Tourism Campaigns
January 26, 2016
I’ve traveled all over the world and love everything about traveling except the travel. I’d love to have all those exotic places come to me without having to leave the house. I’ve been taking my shoes off at airports for years and years and I’m tired of re-tying shoelaces. I’d love to work as a […]
Hot Investment Tip: Put All Your Savings into Gratuities
January 19, 2016
Some people take restaurant service very seriously. You may have noticed these are also the people who take themselves very seriously. If you’ve ever spent the evening in the company of a self-appointed service industry critic, you quickly realize the dressing down of a 19-year-old waitress is a much greater strain on the evening than […]
My 11-Year-Old Tries Very, Very Hard to Explain the Plot of Inside Out
January 12, 2016
When my kids were small my wife told me I shouldn’t tease them, and I told her that it was too late to re-negotiate the terms of our agreement to have children. Teasing and its potential for producing comedy material was one of the strongest ‘pros’ in the reproduction column. Unfortunately, as the kids have […]
The 1st Annual Award Show Awards Recognizing Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Awards
January 5, 2016
Every year at Christmas it was a tradition for Mom to make her ‘World Famous Potato Salad’. It was also a tradition for the salad to be terrible. We’d try and explain potato salad was more of a summer food, and she’d say that was fine because summer was when she’d prepared it. When I […]
5 Tips for Surviving Your Child’s Christmas Pageant
December 21, 2015
For those of you who don’t have children and are spending wild nights out on the town, parenting may not seem very exciting or glamorous, but, it isn’t. Although parenting has its rewards. I’ve heard. At least that’s what all the parenting books say. Not that I’ve read any parenting books, but my wife put […]
Stop Trying to Prove Doctors Wrong
August 12, 2015
I came across a headline that read ‘The World’s Most Precise Clock Could Prove Einstein Wrong’. Apparently a clockmaker invented an atomic clock so precise that it could disprove some of Einstein’s theories on the constancy of certain physical properties. Guys like this clockmaker annoy me to no end. Don’t you hate those people who […]
Intern Wanted
June 12, 2014
Do you have what it takes to join The Good Greatsby team? The Good Greatsby, aka Paul Johnson, has fallen behind on maintaining his blog and is looking for a talented, hard-working intern to do all the work of maintaining this site while Paul continues to do all the work of taking credit for this […]
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February 24, 2016
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