When I was a kid everyone gave me career advice. Dad said, ‘Paul, you’ve got to study computers. Computers are selling like hotcakes.’ My brother said, ‘You’ve got to study programming. Dotcoms are selling like hotcakes.’ My brother-in-law told me, ‘Study real estate. You gotta flip properties. They’re selling like hotcakes.’ I gave it some thought and my first day of college I sat down across from my academic adviser and told her, ‘I want to study hotcakes.’ Hotcakes seemed to be the one consistently hot industry.
But would you believe there isn’t a single hotcakes degree offered at a US university. If hotcakes truly sell like hotcakes, why isn’t there a single hotcake company on the Fortune 500? Nobody ever whispers, ‘You see that girl in the fancy dress? She comes from hotcake money.’ I’ve never once met anyone in the hotcake industry. Nobody has ever handed me a business card that read ‘Paul Johnson Regional VP: Hotcakes Division’.
I figure ‘hotcakes’ became our benchmark for hot-selling products simply by virtue of being a product which began with the word ‘hot’. If this is true I assume we could just as easily have used any product name that started with ‘hot’.
‘Adele’s new single is selling like hot dogs!’
‘My hotcakes are selling like Hot Pockets!’
‘Adele’s new single Hot Pockets is selling like hot dogs! Let’s celebrate with hotcakes!’
There aren’t any hot dog billionaires or bachelors of hot dogs, but the brand Hot Pockets is owned by Nestle, a billion-dollar company, so maybe we’re getting hotter. Perhaps we shouldn’t insist on ‘hot’ as a prerequisite. Maybe there are no consistent hot-selling products and we should create a new idiom based on situational hot-selling products.
They’re selling like gym memberships in January.
They’re selling like barf bags at the Tilt-O-Whirl.
They’re selling like dandruff shampoo outside a Comic-Con convention.
They’re selling like homemade, organic, fair practice, non-GMO deodorant outside a yoga studio.
They’re selling like cheeseburgers in the alley behind a vegan restaurant.
They’re selling like earplugs at a children’s violin recital.
We probably also need a stock idiomatic expression for when a product is selling terribly, and it should probably begin with ‘cold’ like ‘cold cuts’ or ‘cold sore medication’. Just once I’d like to meet someone working in the hotcake industry so I can ask how his hotcakes are selling. He’d have to answer, ‘Actually, my hotcakes are selling like hotcakes.’ Or he’d have to say, ‘My hotcakes are not selling like hotcakes. My hotcakes are selling like Coldplay tickets.’
The Good Greatsby 
countingsheepstudio
February 2, 2016
Oh my goodness, I need that laugh today! This is great, thank-you. 🙂
She's a Maineiac
February 2, 2016
At first I was going to say you sold me the humor in this post like earplugs at an Adele concert (not a fan)…but then you had to end with that Coldplay burn! It’s like a dagger to the heart! So what if their concert tickets sell like condoms at a Comic Con convention? And every song they have sounds exactly the same? (or so my husband claims)
The Good Greatsby
February 3, 2016
I do have a hard time differentiating Coldplay songs. I like the one about the yellow clocks.
She's a Maineiac
February 3, 2016
That’s my favorite one too! Hey…wait a minute….OOH!! (angrily shaking fist)
Bridgesburning Chris
February 3, 2016
Thought about hot soup but alas the only sense making phrase is hot cakes even though it makes no sense.
The Good Greatsby
February 3, 2016
I’ll add ‘hot soup’ to the list when I submit my letter to the national idiom board.
susielindau
February 3, 2016
Hey, I washed my hair before going to Denver’s Comic Con…
They are selling like Bronco’s jerseys in Colorado before the Super Bowl.
The Good Greatsby
February 3, 2016
If I could find a Broncos jersey for sale here I’d buy it. Go Broncos!
susielindau
February 3, 2016
Woohoo! I’d send you one, but it may not arrive until after we win…. We still use Pony Express in Niwot, Colorado.
She's a Maineiac
February 3, 2016
Broncos?! WHAT???? I can’t even… (angrily shaking fist at photo of Manning taped to my dartboard)
susielindau
February 3, 2016
Ha! Fear of losing brings that out in people… #trashtalk
The Good Greatsby
February 3, 2016
Are you a Pats fan? Who doesn’t like Manning?
She's a Maineiac
February 3, 2016
All I think about is my sweet Brady bleeding and sulking off the field last game. The pain I feel is still fresh and cuts deep. But I’ll root for Manning if, and only if, he promises to stop those annoying insurance commercials. GO CAROLINA!
She's a Maineiac
February 3, 2016
Do I like….(taking a swig out of my Brady mug) do I LIKE… (rolling up the sleeves of my Pats snuggie) the Pats?! OOHHHHH! (raising both fists as tears roll down my red, white and blue painted face)
The Good Greatsby
February 3, 2016
Brady has come out on top more than not against Peyton. I feel like Eli is the Manning you should be mad at.
She's a Maineiac
February 3, 2016
(ominous voice) Oh, I am. I am. (turns and expertly throws ax at Eli’s photo nailed to a tree)
pegoleg
February 4, 2016
Haha! Yous guys kill me. There’s nothing I like better than basketball humor.
Cheyanne
February 3, 2016
“selling like jalapeño infused cold cream” maybe?
The Good Greatsby
February 3, 2016
Is that a real thing? If not, let’s work on developing that product together. The market is ready.
tanooki555
February 3, 2016
Thanks for the laugh Paul! For the ‘not’ maybe selling like cold medicine (your choice) in July.
gerknoop
February 3, 2016
BUT!……what about ihop??? Pretty sure they sell hotcakes like hotcakes…..don’tcha think? Sorry….just sayin……..
GO BRONCOS! Even tho I wanted the Seahawks in there again! 😦
The Good Greatsby
February 3, 2016
Is that what IHOP sells? I’ve never been inside.
gerknoop
February 3, 2016
Yes….”
International House of PANCAKES” ! LOLOL
The Good Greatsby
February 4, 2016
I’ve lived all over the world and visited dozens of countries and I’ve never seen an IHOP outside of the US. How can it call itself ‘International’?
List of X
February 3, 2016
That explain why Hot-el California is one of the best selling albums and songs of all time.
The Good Greatsby
February 3, 2016
I’ll test that theory by writing a bad song and putting ‘hot’ in the title and we’ll see if it becomes a hit.
Flop til you drop "FTYD"
February 3, 2016
I’m thinking the word “hot,” rhymes with “Pot.” It’s selling like pot. “High” on everyone’s list. “Blazin'” deals, “burnin'” through the inventory. If you got one of these, everyone’s your “bud.” Just take it from “mary Jane,” she knows… You’ll do so well, you’ll take a “trip” and hang on the “reef.”
The Good Greatsby
February 5, 2016
Is pot a popular product? If it were a hot-selling product I feel like I’d see more commercials.
Flop til you drop "FTYD"
February 5, 2016
well, it is legalized for cancer patients and there are marijuana dispensaries… it’s a business – you want them to come to you for their pot needs. I see advertisements.
marymtf
February 3, 2016
In toddlerville the Wiggles are selling like ‘hot potatoes, hot potatoes.’
The Good Greatsby
February 5, 2016
I did consider hot potatoes but I thought it might be confusing since a hot potato is something you want to quickly get rid of.
rossmurray1
February 3, 2016
I love me a big finish. Nice one.
I actually had a salesman say to me once that such and such product was selling like hotdogs.
The Good Greatsby
February 4, 2016
Interesting to hear your salesman was trying to get that saying going. It’s surprising ‘selling like hot dogs’ never caught on.
rossmurray1
February 4, 2016
To complete the story, he was French, so I think it was a genuine malaprop.
Carl D'Agostino
February 3, 2016
Great routine for a comedy “roast”. You get hot spots on your arms if bitten by fire ants.
The Good Greatsby
February 4, 2016
Now if only I could get myself invited to a comedy roast.
marydurant
February 4, 2016
Hello 😬
pegoleg
February 4, 2016
…or they’re selling like barf bags outside the Hot Pockets new Limited Edition Spicy Beef Nacho free give-away booth at Comic-Con.
The Good Greatsby
February 4, 2016
I love it. Just rolls off the tongue.
In My Cluttered Attic
February 4, 2016
“They’re selling like barf bags at the Tilt-O-Whirl.” and “They’re selling like earplugs at a children’s violin recital. Funny, funny stuff. And that was hot off the presses. 😀
Chua Han Au
February 4, 2016
This is hilariously enriching! 🙂
Mark Petruska
February 5, 2016
I’d go with “hot dogs” for strong sellers and “chili dogs” (chilly=cold) for weak sellers. That way, you’re staying in the same Ballpark.
The Good Greatsby
February 5, 2016
That’s a brilliant solution. Easy to remember. I will start using both of those immediately and we’ll see how fast it catches on.
Barb
February 9, 2016
I hope you’ll be at the next recital. I’ll take 2 pair of earplugs and a beer. Funny stuff.
The Good Greatsby
February 10, 2016
I’ll save you a seat. Save me some earplugs. And a beer.
The Guat
February 22, 2016
Ha! This was a good one. Don’t know how it slipped through my reader radar. ‘Selling like hamburgers behind an alley of a vegan restaurant’ that one had me Rollin’. Selling like cold sore medicine that one was a killer too. I never buy anything that’s selling as hot as a … The line is always too long. Glad I stopped by!