Starting a To-Do List is on My To-Do List

Posted on February 9, 2016


An inventor recently sued 3M for 400 million dollars, claiming he invented the Post-it note back in 1973. He claims his product was called the Press-on and he showed it to 3M executives in 1974. I can’t help wondering why it took him over 40 years to sue. How do you forget someone owes you 400 million dollars? He should have written himself a reminder. Perhaps a Post-it note.

To-do List:
6:00 pick up kids at soccer practice
Drop off dry cleaning
Sue 3M for 400 million dollars
*(400m is a lot of money. Don’t forget. 400m will buy a lot more Post-it notes.)

I sympathize with his wife. She must shake her head every time he says they can’t afford a vacation or braces for the kids or Post-it notes.todo

‘Have you sued 3M for 400 million dollars yet?’
‘Don’t worry,’ he says, tapping a finger to his temple, ‘It’s on my to-do list.’
‘Please, please just write it on a Post-it note already.’
‘Do you mean “write it on a Press-on note already”?’

Many people have great faith in their memory power and feel writing stuff down is almost a concession of faltering ability. Whenever my wife asks me to fix anything around the house I tell her, ‘I’ll put it on the to-do list.’ After ten years of marriage nothing had ever been fixed and she finally asked me, ‘Have you even made a to-do list?’ I told her, ‘Making a to-do list is at the very top of my to-do list.’

I’d start a to-do list if only I could remember to buy some Post-it notes.

Man sues 3M over invention of Post-it

If anyone is in Arizona I’ll be doing stand-up this weekend and next at Stand Up Scottsdale. I’ll be doing six shows each weekend opening for Lynne Koplitz and then Joe Matarese. Tickets can be purchased here:

Upcoming tour dates in Arizona and LA can be found on my comedy page:!tour-dates/conp

Here’s a clip from a recent stand-up performance in Hong Kong: My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad



Posted in: humor