Monstrous Captions

Posted on October 28, 2011


If you should feel any discomfort during the procedure, just send me a signal by breaking your constraints, smashing the room, and burning the nearby village.

This won’t hurt a bit…until I flip the switch to send 10,000 volts of electricity through your body.

Sorry, I know you requested a black chest restraint to match your outfit, but I could only find white on such short notice.

Before I unbuckle your chest strap, perhaps I should show you the bill.

If you can understand English, please answer by groaning, “MAAAAARRRRWW!”

And the bartender says, ‘Wait a minute, that rabbi’s a duck!’  Pretty funny, right?  Now that I’ve warmed you up with a joke, I have some bad news about you not being human and being composed of stolen body parts.

I just got off the phone with your healthcare provider and they’re claiming death is a preexisting condition.

I hope I’m not moving too fast; I usually don’t hold necks until the second date.

This is so embarrassing, but it appears I left the key to this cape in my other pants.  We might be wrapped up in here a while.

And where were you all afternoon?  Are these needle marks I see?  Did you donate blood again?  I guess you’re the type of girl who’ll give her blood to anyone, aren’t you?

Are you sure this is how a staring contest works?

Yes, you were right to come in.  This mole looks serious.  But I’m even more worried about the hand attached to the front of your neck.

Posted in: Captions