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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All posts tagged under »satire«
3 Bedrooms, 2 Baths, 1 Dungeon
March 5, 2012
I read an article outlining some of the home renovations and additions that can actually decrease home value instead of increasing it. The article offered the examples of swimming pools and extensive, complicated landscaping as additions that may only appeal to a small segment of buyers. Because I assume the article had limited space and […]
Chinglish Even the Kids Will Like
March 4, 2012
If you have any photos of a friend whose voice may shatter your dream as the north wind lays waste the garden, you might want to put the photos of him in this photo album: Convincing kids to eat cookies can be pretty difficult. That’s why I only buy cookies that contain the guarantee ‘Even […]
The Fonz’s Dental Dilemma
March 3, 2012
Mrs. Greatsby and I have a different perspective on taking the kids to the dentist. When the kids saw the dentist last week and she insisted the boys needed thousands and thousands of dollars of dental and orthodontic work, my wife immediately scheduled follow-up appointments. But when I see a dentist I see a person […]
Another Interview with Apollo Fonzarelli
March 2, 2012
The last time I interviewed my seven-year-old, Apollo Fonzarelli, was when he was sick in bed and so tired that he couldn’t run away when I annoyed him with my questions. This time I was the immobile one as I lay on the floor with a back injury and made him sit next to me […]
When Church Met State
March 1, 2012
I’m lying on the floor with a back injury and Mrs. Greatsby was kind enough to bring me my laptop after I threatened to expose the shoddy cataloguing of her library’s Korean section. (When I read that to her she laughed and said, “That’s funny because it’s true.”) I wish I had a great story […]
8 Activities for a Memorable Leap Day
February 29, 2012
#1 Go to a local bar and make friends with all the people celebrating a birthday. These new friends will quickly replace your old friends when you realize you only have to get them a birthday gift once every four years. (Note: I met my friend Arran for lunch to celebrate his leap year birthday, […]
Haikuing Your Way to Success
February 28, 2012
If you’re anything like me, most of your New Year’s resolutions focus on ways to impress others. And when I say ‘others’, of course I mean rich people. And when I say ‘rich people’, of course I mean people who are rich because they were paid handsomely for being good looking. Every year when I […]
This Guy’s in Love
February 26, 2012
I’m always looking for inspiration before I start writing and I find it extremely helpful to have a selection of verse printed right on the cover of all the notebooks I buy here in Shanghai. I carry the notebook below around with me throughout the day and read the message across the front cover every […]
The Gift is in the Mail
February 25, 2012
I’ve traveled all over China and I keep seeing the same placards to signify Men’s Restroom: And Women’s Restroom: But aren’t these two signs just a little bit sexist? Can’t a women smoke a pipe? And can’t a man use a high-heeled shoe to break open a coconut? ….. Only one day left to submit […]
Cop Steals Pudding; Taken into Custardy
February 24, 2012
Police in Houston arrested one of its own after a cop was repeatedly filmed stealing food and drinks from the break room refrigerator. Local media love a story about a crooked cop and they’ve probably jumped all over this story with the following sensational headlines: Cop Steals Pudding; Taken into Custardy Officer in Pickle After […]
My Trophy Room
February 23, 2012
All my life I’ve suspected I wasn’t receiving as many awards as I deserved. But if you bring that oversight to anyone’s attention, they automatically place a mental check next to your name for being the type of person who desires awards and is therefore the type of person who is undeserving of awards. The […]
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The Good Greatsby 
March 6, 2012
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