Police in Houston arrested one of its own after a cop was repeatedly filmed stealing food and drinks from the break room refrigerator. Local media love a story about a crooked cop and they’ve probably jumped all over this story with the following sensational headlines:
Cop Steals Pudding; Taken into Custardy
Officer in Pickle After Stealing Pickles
Police Station Stakeout Nabs Cop Who Took Steak Out
Cop Bids Force Goodbye After Raid of Ham & Rye
Caught Bread-Handed!
Officer Given Sack Following Theft of Snack
Hold the Mustard, Hold the Mayo, Hold Your Hands Up Where I Can See ‘Em
Cop Read Rights in Between Bites
The Case of the Chicken Wing Sting
Cop Hears Whisper at Crisper: You Have the Right to Remain Silent
Posted in: Breaking News Fixed
The Good Greatsby 
thoughtsappear
February 24, 2012
You’re so punny! I love it!
The Good Greatsby
February 25, 2012
I’m doing my best to get this important story out there.
eemjehwahn
February 24, 2012
an egregious crime. nothing is worse than anticipating to bite into your chicken salad sandwich accompanied by a Twix, only to see them gone. and then your highlight of your day becomes setting a new high score for Minesweeper. that would not be a great day.
The Good Greatsby
February 25, 2012
This cop should be held responsible for all the crimes his colleagues weren’t able to solve because they were too malnourished to work effectively.
susielindau
February 24, 2012
“Cop has sticky fingers after being caught red handed while fingering cherry pie.”
Is this a real story in Texas? No wonder we have tomato wars with them!
The Good Greatsby
February 25, 2012
This is the first I’ve heard of any tomato wars with Texas. I would absolutely support some form of attack on Texas and tomatoes might be as good a place as any to start.
pegoleg
February 24, 2012
Didja see his defense? He said he was just keeping the refrigerator clean. I wonder if that excuse would work for me if that officer caught me dusting the diamonds down at the jewelry store?
Tori Nelson
February 24, 2012
Peg, I think this is an honorable excuse. I often eat of my kid’s plate to show him how to properly chew, and I’ve been known to steal other’s leftovers as a friendly reminder for them to keep an eye on their valuables. Also, I just really like Chicken McNuggets and cake 🙂
The Good Greatsby
February 24, 2012
I read another article that said one of the items stolen was 60 lbs of sausage; his excuse makes sense if you consider keeping 60 lbs of sausage in your work refrgerator is obviously taking advantage of the system.
Adrienne schmadrienne
February 24, 2012
“Caught Bread-Handed!” Nice one!
After all these years of searching for the Hamburglar, the police find out he is one of their own.
The Good Greatsby
February 25, 2012
This story will only embolden the Hamburglar and other food thieves everywhere.
thelifeofjamie
February 24, 2012
This is as hamazing.
The Good Greatsby
February 25, 2012
Getting caught will certainly put a damper on his career hambitions.
mistyslaws
February 25, 2012
I mean really, it was probably all just gonna go bad anyway, so he was doing a public service.
Cop cops to copping a pop.
Local Pig found eating neighbor’s ham. Cannibalism charge expected.
Officer pleads no contest; defends his training for food eating contest.
The Good Greatsby
February 25, 2012
Well done.
She's a Maineiac
February 25, 2012
Cop Caught With Actual Egg On His Face
Missing Egg Salad Sandwich Case Cracked Wide Open
Nabbed Sandwich Thief Claims Accusation is Full of Bologna
Police Raid Proves Theft of Kool-Aid
Cops Get the Poop On Theft of Grey Poupon
The Good Greatsby
February 25, 2012
Poor form, Darla; these are too good. I’m not going to compete with you on my own blog.
She's a Maineiac
February 26, 2012
What if there was a trophy at stake? And the odds of me winning it were none to none?
katecourysfarmhouse.com
February 25, 2012
My kind of policeman! At least he is only eating/stealing “Food” and not shooting everyone that makes a wrong move like they do here in Spokane….Can’t stand our police dept. ……but really? 60 lbs of sausage??? WHY? lol
The Good Greatsby
February 25, 2012
What’s the charge for shooting the food in the break room refrigerator?
Laura
February 25, 2012
My favorite was “Hold the Mustard …”. I’m sure the trial will generate some interesting headlines too:
“Dirty Cop Claims He Was Just Cleaning Up”
“Fridge Cop Convicted: The Proof Was in the Pudding”
The article said he was suspended for 30 days but not fired — I wonder what his first day back at work will be like. I wouldn’t be surprised if his colleagues give him the cold shoulder.
The Good Greatsby
February 25, 2012
At a bare minimum they need to put his picture on a ‘Wanted’ poster on the break room door.
Rob Rubin
February 25, 2012
Hell, I’d steal someone’s pudding too in heartbeat. Specially if it’s butterscotch.
The Good Greatsby
February 25, 2012
I can kind of see his side of the story since pudding is pretty delicious.
k8edid
February 25, 2012
Very funny.
“Investigation Ham-pered by Cheesy Explanation of Missing Food”
I have been working on a post, with flowchart, for when it is okay to take someone else’s food from the work refrigerator.
I once discovered a resident (doc) eating MY dinner with MY stethoscope around his neck. I was, to say the least, displeased. I always thought hospital breakrooms were the worse for missing food crimes, but perhaps I was wrong.
The Good Greatsby
February 25, 2012
I still can’t believe people actually steal their colleagues’ lunches. And stethoscopes.
thegnukid
February 25, 2012
“Policeman purloins peach – – Fuzz foists fuzz!”
The Good Greatsby
February 25, 2012
Purloin is such an underutilized word; I’m glad you threw some work its way.
thesinglecell
February 25, 2012
Cop’s Capers Caper – Rye Smile Was Giveaway For Officer On the Take
Oh, let’s face it, you’re better at these than anybody else.
The Good Greatsby
February 25, 2012
Ha! I like the ‘Rye Smile’.
pattisj
February 25, 2012
Where’s the beef?
The Hobbler
February 29, 2012
I was wondering if you might help me out…El Guapo and Edward Hotspur gave me quite a bad time the other day, and I thought it might be fun if some of us bloggers who frequently see their sites would mention “conspiracy” or some form of the word in any comment we make on their blog tomorrow. The idea is to get them thinking that it is weird that so many people are talking about conspiracies…but we should still be subtle enough that they won’t figure out there really is a conspiracy to quickly.
HoaiPhai
February 29, 2012
He swallowed the in-fridge surveillance camera that was concealed in a cheesecake. It was a lucky thing to happen because now he can get treatment for a couple of previously undiscovered, and very nasty, polyps.