I read an article outlining some of the home renovations and additions that can actually decrease home value instead of increasing it. The article offered the examples of swimming pools and extensive, complicated landscaping as additions that may only appeal to a small segment of buyers.
Because I assume the article had limited space and couldn’t possibly include every value-killing addition, here are some other renovations I imagine a realtor touring your house would frown upon:
A meth lab.
Any sort of room containing a large cage and you being surprised that the cage is empty.
A surveillance room with footage showing the realtor’s house.
A special chalk outline room where every member of the family has their outline traced onto the floor.
A Vin Diesel celebration room. Anyone who loves Vin Diesel is likely to have a lot of enemies that might come back for revenge at any time without knowing the object of their revenge had moved.
A termite farm. It doesn’t matter how thick the walls of their wooden cages are, the realtor isn’t going to like it.
One of those fancy flooded basement rooms all the celebrities are so crazy about.
A scratching-sound-coming-from-inside-the-walls room. (Why would you even want this room? Waste of money.)
Bidon't use this bidet.
A press clipping room prominently displaying framed reports of how the home had been the site of a murder every ten years.
A haunted bidet. Nobody cares what famous celebrity was murdered while using this bidet.
A dungeon. I don’t care how good the lighting is, if there are shackles on the wall it’s a dungeon.
The Good Greatsby 
Laura
March 5, 2012
The weirdest home renovation feature I’ve ever seen was a brick-and-mortar bathtub. I don’t mean the area around the tub — the actual tub itself, the part that gets filled with water, was made out of bricks. It was a DIY project, and the homeowner was very proud of it.
One value-lowering home renovation that I’ve actually considered is converting one of my closets into a cat bathroom, complete with litter boxes, a sink, and storage space. This would actually reduce the number of bedrooms I could officially claim, because a room without a closet doesn’t count as a bedroom. Plus it would probably give people the impression that I have fourteen cats instead of two.
The Good Greatsby
March 6, 2012
Actually I always assumed you had fourteen cats instead of two.
spilledinkguy
March 5, 2012
I assume the problem is having only one dungeon.
You need at least one and half, right?!
I’ve seen at least one episode of MTV’s ‘Cribs’.
I know whats up.
The Good Greatsby
March 5, 2012
If you’re going to have a dungeon, you’ve got to either go big or go home.
EllieAnn
March 5, 2012
You mean I should move my taxidermist workshop outside?
The Good Greatsby
March 5, 2012
Homebuyers might not like a taxidermist workshop in the yard either.
EllieAnn
March 5, 2012
oh I guess that’s just as well. My yard’s too full of classic cars I’m refurbishing, anyway.
Michael
March 5, 2012
I…honestly did not know what a bidet was, until I read this post. ….0_0.
The Good Greatsby
March 6, 2012
Do you mean to say you grew up as the only kid on your block without a haunted bidet?
Sidney
March 6, 2012
My poltergeist, Mookie Blaylock, REALLY liked that one.
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 5, 2012
Ah, Great, now you are in my territory. Your post is hilarious, of course, but as a 34 year licensed Realtor (I pay dues so that I can use a capitol R), I will tell you other items, NOT made up (unfortunately,) that might decrease a home’s value.
1. a room with blood all over the ceiling
2. a room with black walls, floodlights, and hooks (where shackles used to be) on the walls
3. a bedroom with a bed with a cross above it and two posters on the walls: one Jesus and the other a naked man with an unusually large member
4. a bedroom with an open nightstand drawer displaying an astonishing variety of rubber toys
5. an elderly person, extremely ill and close to the end of life, seated prominently in the living room
The Good Greatsby
March 6, 2012
I’m learning so much about real estate; I never would have guessed any of those would be a no-no.
Laura
March 6, 2012
True story: my brother’s house came with a blood-stained carpet and a big hole in the back yard where the previous owner’s son tried to hide from the police after stabbing his mom.
Adrienne schmadrienne
March 5, 2012
Awesome. I just finished drawing up the schematics for a new movie room. It was going to be wired to a camera in my “work space” so I can watch a live feed of my subjects. Guess in this housing market I won’t be able to sell any time soon.
A Gripping Life
March 5, 2012
I’m currently trying to sell my house. Thanks for the heads up on the meth lab — gonna get rid of that pronto.
The Good Greatsby
March 6, 2012
It’s a shame that meth labs are so difficult to transport to the next home.
susielindau
March 5, 2012
Maybe I should rethink my water park idea…..
The Good Greatsby
March 6, 2012
Water parks are fine as long as the slide takes you somewhere like the local bus station. If it shortens the commute, it might be a real bonus.
susielindau
March 6, 2012
So true! Hahaha!
thelifeofjamie
March 5, 2012
a meth lab would be great for those adventure seekers though…you never know when the house will blow up!
The Good Greatsby
March 5, 2012
It certainly would add a level of excitement to house parties knowing that the house might blow at any time.
bearmancartoons
March 5, 2012
A scratching-sound-coming-from-inside-the-walls room. (Why would you even want this room? Waste of money.)
I could see sticking something electronic in the wall that would make that sound if you were the buyer. There is something weird in this house…knock 25% off the asking price and I’ll buy.
The Good Greatsby
March 5, 2012
I see a business opportunity. You create the technology and do all the work and we’ll split it 50/50.
pegoleg
March 5, 2012
The celebrity haunted bidet might not be good for resale, but you’ve got the makings for a hit reality show right there.
The Good Greatsby
March 5, 2012
All rights reserved!
joehoover
March 5, 2012
I have a few fiends who’ve visited gentlemans homes complete with a dungeon.
The Good Greatsby
March 6, 2012
That’s a strong sigh the date should be over.
Jackie Cangro
March 5, 2012
You mean my shrine to serial killers of the 20th century in the den isn’t going to go over well?
Sidney
March 6, 2012
I have a friend or 12 who would snatch that right up.
The Good Greatsby
March 6, 2012
I’m not sure you would want to risk interaction with the type of person who would be interested in your shrine.
Audrey
March 5, 2012
I’m guess the realtor isn’t going to appreciate a “Melee Room” either? It’s the perfect room for those water balloon fights, wrestling brawls (don’t worry, the drywall was already soggy when they knocked that hole in the wall), and lightsaber battles.
The Good Greatsby
March 6, 2012
But I kind of think a lot of homebuyers might appreciate a room where kids can break anything they want.
charlywalker
March 5, 2012
How about a few Skull and Bone Tchotchke’s on the shelf accompanied by left over liver in the Frigidaire…….The Dahmer Executive suite..
Funny Post, I might add.
artjen1971
March 6, 2012
A meth lab and a termite farm would definitely be a turn-off–one of those over-improvements that is very polarizing…
becomingcliche
March 6, 2012
That’s not fair. Given the popularity of ghost hunting shows, I had a haunted bidet installed. And it wasn’t cheap.
The Good Greatsby
March 6, 2012
But doesn’t the value entirely depend on the quality of celebrity haunting the toilet?
cooper
March 6, 2012
22 caliber holes in the wall might help whatever is scratching behind the wall breathe easier but also might be a turn-off….
The Good Greatsby
March 6, 2012
Bullet holes will help the thing behind the wall breathe easier but they might also bring that thing’s scent a lot closer.
prttynpnk
March 6, 2012
I think those extensive bridges/tunnels and ramps for your 45 cats and a drain in the livingroom floor are also bad ideas.
She's a Maineiac
March 6, 2012
Good stuff. The cage one is hysterical. The meth lab is good to know, but in my world a math lab would be just as disturbing.
Brown Road Chronicles
March 6, 2012
Have to agree, the empty cage… hilarious!
Sidney
March 6, 2012
Hoarding is my fav when looking for an investment property.
Dana
March 6, 2012
What about zen fountains installed right near the toilet? Running water is soothing, especially when you can’t figure out if it’s the actual fountain that’s running or your toilet in need of extensive repairs.
Kathryn McCullough
March 6, 2012
Yikes, we call our basement the “dungeon”–think that’ gonna ruin our resale value?!
xmichra
March 6, 2012
While househunting I particularly liked the ‘theme’ houses. One was jungle inspired (had a jaguar painted on the wall over the couch), another Disney (a mural of Jasmine and Aladin doing unspeakable things hung in the master bedroom. Sellers said it wans’t included, so we opted out) and another house which I think was themed, because it was all Green. Varrious shades of green (way ultra bright lime bathroom blinded you when you turned on the lights)… but green throughout.
Thomas Stazyk
March 6, 2012
And the absolute worst–the “children’s kitchen.”
Ahmnodt Heare
March 6, 2012
My sister’s old house had a toilet that was on a pedestal. The front of the toilet could only be accessed by the stairs leading to the toilet. Talk about a throne!
Snoring Dog Studio
March 6, 2012
Bizarre. That photo at the very top of the meth lab looks just like my kitchen does all the time.
gojulesgo
March 7, 2012
What about a meth celebration room?