3 Bedrooms, 2 Baths, 1 Dungeon

Posted on March 5, 2012


I read an article outlining some of the home renovations and additions that can actually decrease home value instead of increasing it. The article offered the examples of swimming pools and extensive, complicated landscaping as additions that may only appeal to a small segment of buyers.

Because I assume the article had limited space and couldn’t possibly include every value-killing addition, here are some other renovations I imagine a realtor touring your house would frown upon:

A meth lab.

Any sort of room containing a large cage and you being surprised that the cage is empty.

A surveillance room with footage showing the realtor’s house.

A special chalk outline room where every member of the family has their outline traced onto the floor.

A Vin Diesel celebration room. Anyone who loves Vin Diesel is likely to have a lot of enemies that might come back for revenge at any time without knowing the object of their revenge had moved.

A termite farm. It doesn’t matter how thick the walls of their wooden cages are, the realtor isn’t going to like it.

One of those fancy flooded basement rooms all the celebrities are so crazy about.

A scratching-sound-coming-from-inside-the-walls room. (Why would you even want this room? Waste of money.)

Bidon't use this bidet.

A press clipping room prominently displaying framed reports of how the home had been the site of a murder every ten years.

A haunted bidet. Nobody cares what famous celebrity was murdered while using this bidet.

A dungeon. I don’t care how good the lighting is, if there are shackles on the wall it’s a dungeon.

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