Browsing All posts tagged under »children«

Did You Know? Did You Know? Did You Know?

September 26, 2012


My 8-year-old The Fonz is a perpetual source of non-sequiturs, interrupting conversation with sound bytes varying from the funny, “Why go to Mount Everest when you can see the top from Google Earth? It’s the same thing,” to the philosophically bizarre, “Did you know if your shadow was three-dimensional, it would open a black hole?” […]

I Give Apollo Fonzarelli ‘The Talk’

September 17, 2012


Parents dread their children reaching the age when they have to give them ‘the talk’. You keep putting it off, thinking your kid isn’t old enough to be interested in such adult issues, but procrastination may put your child at risk. Yes, I couldn’t put it off any longer and this week I decided it […]

The Greatsbys Get Moving

September 3, 2012


We moved house over the weekend. We’d lived in the same house for three years and on the same street for seven, but it made more sense for us to move to another part of Shanghai after the kids recently changed schools and my wife changed jobs. Also, we’d already exhausted the neighborhood of people […]

Dear Mr. Foosball

August 31, 2012


Dear Mr. Foosball, I recently ordered a foosball table from your company. It was delivered and assembled while I was at work and now that I’ve had some time to look it over I worry it may be inappropriate for our children. Here are my concerns: 1. Why aren’t any of the players smiling? We […]

There’s No Such Thing as a Stupid Question, Except ‘What’s a Question?’

August 20, 2012


When you grow older some truisms and sayings seem to crumble under scrutiny. I remember teachers always saying, “There’s no such thing as a stupid question.” Of course as an adult I’ve realized not only is there such thing as a stupid question, but in reality most questions turn out to be stupid. I now […]

Dear Good Greatsby: Babysitter or Baby Sicker

August 8, 2012


Today’s question comes from Heather at Beaches & Peaches. Heather: I have a baby, and yesterday the babysitter for this baby showed up very sick. How do you deal with this situation? I pretended to walk a block and then came back in the apartment and told her I’d acted too soon, and actually wasn’t […]

Welcome to Hogwarts!

July 18, 2012


My eleven-year-old Optimist Prime is a huge Harry Potter fan, having finished the series for the fifth time just last week. If you’re familiar with the series, you know that eleven is the age Harry received a letter informing him he wasn’t an ordinary human (muggle) but was a wizard who had been accepted to […]

Make Your Own Summer Camp

July 16, 2012


My wife is traveling for a couple weeks and I’m searching for ideas to occupy the kids that don’t violate my wife’s list of forbidden activities: TV Video games Crime We wanted to send them to a summer camp but decided against it when we learned they cost money, and I’ve resorted to finding alternative […]

Summer Break is Breaking My Spirit

July 10, 2012


Well, we’re a month into the kids’ summer vacation and that means I’ve started 30 straight mornings asking the mirror why kids get a summer vacation. Why do kids get time off? They’re just going to forget half the stuff they learned during the previous year. They’ll waste at least a month of the new […]

My Son, the Model Student

June 18, 2012


Last week my wife filled out a form for our kids’ applications to a new international school they’ll attend in the fall. I was eager to help and filled out a page for our eight-year-old son, The Fonz. When my wife saw my answers she took the rest of the packet away from me. 1. […]

An Interview with Optimist Prime–Part 2

June 8, 2012


Yesterday we attended Optimist Prime’s graduation from elementary school. He’s growing up so fast. It seems like only a year ago he was a year younger than he is now. And it seems like only yesterday when I made that same joke to him at his elementary school graduation. He’s only ten but he just […]

Optimist Prime Accomplishes Lifelong Dream at 10

May 21, 2012


Optimist Prime played his first American football game yesterday. Ever since he was a kid at the young age of 8, he’s dreamed of being a quarterback, and now that dream came true at 10. I wish my dreams had come true at 10 so I could have taken the last two decades off. He […]