Text Message Diaries: I Send My Wife Not So Breaking News

Posted on August 23, 2012



Hey, babe, waiting to see chiropractor. Guess what? According to People magazine, Kristin Stewart & Rob Pattinson thinking about having baby 🙂  Know U R in meeting but thought you’d want to know. Have good feeling about those 2. Something tells me they’re gonna make it.


Bad news: Rob & Kristin baby article was old copy of People. In following issue broke up 😦  Kristin cheated w old guy, not 1/2 so dreamy as Rob, but equally pale. Even worse, in cheating pictures Kristin hair looked ratty and her skin washed out. She should wear more color. Always had bad feeling about Rob & Kristin. Know U R in meeting but please call to confirm U got message. Worried U might announce Kristin & Rob baby news during meeting and look like idiot.


Next issue People says Rob relying on Reese Witherspoon for support during difficult time. Became friends during Like Water for Elephants filming. Could Rob & Reese power couple be on horizon? Have good feeling about those 2. Have bad feeling about Like Water for Elephants. Glad we didn’t see it.


Sorry! Same article says Reese pregnant and married so Rob & Reese super couple unlikely 😦  Also says Rob deciding whether break up with Kristin. Searching for next copy of People. Tension unbearable! Call when U get this message.


Can’t find most recent People!!!! Receptionist claims it’s on coffee table. I claimed she’s a liar because I’m not blind. Worried another patient took into bathroom. Knocked on bathroom door but no answer. Slipped note under door but no answer. Know your library is 4 elementary kids but do you have People magazine? If so, please leave meeting, check most recent issue 4 me.


Still haven’t heard from U 😦  Trying to distract myself while I wait 2 hear Rob & Kristin news, reading old copy of People. Tom Cruise talks about Katie Holmes keeping him grounded. Have a good feeling about those 2. Think they’re going to make it. Call when you get this!


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