Prince Harry Courts Controversy With Wave of Royal Scepter

Posted on August 29, 2012


Perhaps you’ve already heard the news about Britain’s Prince Harry who was photographed nude during a Las Vegas party while playing a round of strip billiards. The only reason I know about the story is because I’ve set my Google News to send me alerts whenever a story contains the keywords: ‘nude, photograph, Queen’, but it keeps wasting my time by sending me nude alerts for the Queen’s extended family.

Once again, none of the major publications consulted me for a headline:

Harry Courts Controversy With Wave of Royal Scepter

So far the Queen hasn’t made an official statement but I’m sure she wasn’t happy:

Queen Furious After Prince Displays Crown Jewels

 If I understand British law correctly, I believe the Queen is legally forbidden from talking to her grandchildren and would have summoned Prince Charles to insist he reign in his son:

 Charles Given Dressing Down Over Harry’s Dressing Down

 I’m sure Charles wasted no time scolding Harry and making sure there was no confusion over his noble title:

 Prince Charles to Harry: You’re a Prince, Not a Barin’

Prince Harry probably realizes his chances of ever being king are extremely slim, but maybe removing his clothes was a signal he has his eye on a different title:

Prince Auditions for Role of Emperor

I can’t help but think of ancient stories of the English monarchy and wonder how they could be given a contemporary adaptation:

Prince Offers Modern Take on Sword and the Stones

Harry’s subjects don’t seem too upset. Their reaction may depend on how he measures up:

British Hold Ruler to Nude Shot of Ruler

The mainstream media has failed to note the most important part of this story: the Prince is terrible at billiards:

Naked Prince No Knight of the Rectangular Table

I’m surprised this incident hasn’t sparked more of a diplomatic row. Why aren’t the British more upset at America’s lack of hospitality? Americans beat Britain’s prince in billiards, took his clothes, and then took pictures to send back to his home country.

Prime Minister Chants ‘Return Prince’s Pants’

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