Perhaps you’ve already heard the news about Britain’s Prince Harry who was photographed nude during a Las Vegas party while playing a round of strip billiards. The only reason I know about the story is because I’ve set my Google News to send me alerts whenever a story contains the keywords: ‘nude, photograph, Queen’, but it keeps wasting my time by sending me nude alerts for the Queen’s extended family.
Once again, none of the major publications consulted me for a headline:
Harry Courts Controversy With Wave of Royal Scepter
So far the Queen hasn’t made an official statement but I’m sure she wasn’t happy:
Queen Furious After Prince Displays Crown Jewels
If I understand British law correctly, I believe the Queen is legally forbidden from talking to her grandchildren and would have summoned Prince Charles to insist he reign in his son:
Charles Given Dressing Down Over Harry’s Dressing Down
I’m sure Charles wasted no time scolding Harry and making sure there was no confusion over his noble title:
Prince Charles to Harry: You’re a Prince, Not a Barin’
Prince Harry probably realizes his chances of ever being king are extremely slim, but maybe removing his clothes was a signal he has his eye on a different title:
Prince Auditions for Role of Emperor
I can’t help but think of ancient stories of the English monarchy and wonder how they could be given a contemporary adaptation:
Prince Offers Modern Take on Sword and the Stones
Harry’s subjects don’t seem too upset. Their reaction may depend on how he measures up:
British Hold Ruler to Nude Shot of Ruler
The mainstream media has failed to note the most important part of this story: the Prince is terrible at billiards:
Naked Prince No Knight of the Rectangular Table
I’m surprised this incident hasn’t sparked more of a diplomatic row. Why aren’t the British more upset at America’s lack of hospitality? Americans beat Britain’s prince in billiards, took his clothes, and then took pictures to send back to his home country.
Prime Minister Chants ‘Return Prince’s Pants’
The Good Greatsby 
joehoover
August 29, 2012
I demand a rematch but a game of snooker instead, it’s no wonder he lost
The Good Greatsby
August 30, 2012
On behalf of all Americans, I apologize for the way your prince was humiliated. But I refuse the call for a rematch since we really can’t risk embarrassing Harry any further.
Kathryn McCullough
August 29, 2012
I knew you wouldn’t be able to pass this one up–and I do mean up! Well done!
The Good Greatsby
August 30, 2012
I knew the monarchy would be looking for my reaction to help society put this scandal in perspective.
Hippie Cahier
August 29, 2012
This is one of the few places on the Internet where “. . . reign in his son. . . ” is probably intentional and is therefore a stroke of genius.
(You can thank me later for all the site hits you get from people with ‘stroke’ in their search alerts.)
The Good Greatsby
August 30, 2012
I’m glad someone caught that. And I appreciate your efforts to help my search terms. I’ll return the favor.
Jackie Cangro
August 29, 2012
If this is what happens when the prince plays billiards, I wonder what would happen if he played poker.
The Good Greatsby
August 30, 2012
I’m afraid Americans are pretty good at poker as well.
writerdood
August 29, 2012
Trust the tabloids to make a big deal out of something small. I’m sure this will give rise to all sorts of innuendo, but it will eventually blow over. Until then, he’ll just have to roll with it and hope the excitement passes. The interest will soften over time.
The Good Greatsby
August 30, 2012
A tip of the hat to you for packing so much innuendo into so little space.
aparnauteur
August 29, 2012
You’ve got some really snappy headlines here! How about this one:
What happened in Vegas was royally ‘out’rageous
The Good Greatsby
August 30, 2012
And how come what happened in Vegas didn’t stay in Vegas?
aparnauteur
August 30, 2012
That is a privilege only Americans get to enjoy!
bearmancartoons
August 29, 2012
And they complained about Fergie
The Good Greatsby
August 30, 2012
Fergie had her chance. Now it’s time for a new generation to create embarrassment.
Todd Pack
August 29, 2012
The photos are kind of grainy, so maybe there’s a story in Prince and the Resolution. (That’s an ’80s reference, for anyone too young to remember.)
The Good Greatsby
August 30, 2012
I get and appreciate the reference. Prince has never left my playlist so you’d think I would have thought to look for material there.
Elyse
August 29, 2012
Hilarious. Harry is quite the guy, naked or simply raw.
The Good Greatsby
August 30, 2012
Is there a third choice?
Elyse
August 30, 2012
How about with a bag over his head (or perhaps in a nazi uniform?)
The Good Greatsby
August 30, 2012
This scandal certainly pales in comparison to that one.
clemarchives
August 29, 2012
If you started your own publication I’d pay for it. I mean, I’d only pay about $.02 a day but that could add up, right?
The Good Greatsby
August 30, 2012
Could I have the next ten years worth of $.02 a day all at once?
clemarchives
August 31, 2012
I’m flattered you think I have $80 to my name…
susielindau
August 30, 2012
Harry didn’t seem to be embarrassed by his embareassment…..
The Good Greatsby
August 30, 2012
Well-played, Susie!
Arindam
August 30, 2012
Hilarious! 🙂 This time, People with the search terms “nude, photograph, Queen” will reach to your blog for sure. Still I am sure you are not going to disappoint them. It’s high time for Google news to learn something from you..
The Good Greatsby
August 30, 2012
Of course I’m not definite I want those searchers coming to my site.
pegoleg
August 30, 2012
Harry loses billiards game when it is discovered he has no side pocket in which to put his “money ball”.
The Good Greatsby
August 30, 2012
I knew there was a pocket joke in there somewhere.
The Byronic Man
August 30, 2012
I prefer to be naked while playing billiards, myself. Cuts down on wind-resistance. Good for Harry for taking the game seriously.
The Good Greatsby
August 30, 2012
I give the same explanation when my wife asks why I have to be naked to do our taxes.
Emily Cannell
August 30, 2012
The royal was heiring his dirty laundry on the balcony apparently.
The Good Greatsby
August 30, 2012
He’s got to do it somewhere.
Mark Petruska
August 30, 2012
Brings new meaning to the phrase “eight ball in the corner pocket.”
The Good Greatsby
August 30, 2012
Yes it does, and I’ll always think of a nude Harry whenever I hear someone call their shot.
Mark Petruska
August 30, 2012
Great. I will too, now…thanks to your reply.
Laura
August 30, 2012
Best use of the word “scepter” I’ve seen all year.
The Good Greatsby
August 31, 2012
I’m sure Harry uses that ‘royal scepter’ line all the time with the ladies.
Lorna's Voice
August 30, 2012
Perhaps you can explain to me what is it with men and their balls…billiard balls in this case?
The Good Greatsby
August 31, 2012
We do seem to have an attachment.
Lorna's Voice
August 31, 2012
In more ways that one. Or two… 😉
spilledinkguy
August 30, 2012
Poor guy.
He even lost his fascinator.
The Good Greatsby
August 31, 2012
I bet the fascinator was the last thing to come off.
lazylauramaisey
August 31, 2012
I’ve got one. It’s less discreet and there’s no cleverness to it (I am tired). “Prince gets willy out.”
The Good Greatsby
August 31, 2012
You’re not one to hold back, I see.
lazylauramaisey
August 31, 2012
Nah. Say what you see. So things like “Prince is quite hunky”, “Prince doesn’t look like Dad” or “Prince looks like man who Mum had affair with” also work in situations like this.
diannegray
August 31, 2012
Well played! Love the headlines 🙂
flippingchannels
August 31, 2012
Sometimes I feel like people do these things jut so you can write about them.
monicastangledweb
August 31, 2012
Great headlines. I think I’ll confer with you, from now on, regarding the headings for my posts. 😉
Carl D'Agostino
August 31, 2012
Funny, wry and witty as usual. Am I the only one that does not give a hoot about the antics of this royal smoyal Englanderish family ? And another thing. I object to these Englanderish people on the news programs sayin’ who, what or how America should be running itself. Why do the networks think these people that don’t speak right proper English are appealing to Americans? Now lemme tell you about them Frenchies…..
theeyeoffaith
September 1, 2012
We LOVE ur blog. We rarely find cool young guys who we can identify with their musings. Glad we stumbled here today. We look forward to keeping up with ur stuff!
The Eye
http://theeyeoffaith.com
Ape No. 1
September 2, 2012
Leisure Suit Harry… Yes, I am an old school nerd.
HoaiPhai
September 4, 2012
Great collections of headlines, Good. I was one on the newsstand today that said, “Royal caught playing pool with 17 balls.” There was no photo, thankfully.
hallusocracy
September 13, 2012
As amusing as the headlines of The Sun, but not as offensive. 🙂