I took both pictures of these contraceptives at a shop on my street here in Shanghai:
Come on, guys, no matter how confident you are, do you really want to use a condom with the name brand ‘retard’?
It’s a tough choice if I have to decide between the ‘large size’ and the ‘smart size’. I assume the ‘smart size’ condoms are for the guy who is so smart that he has no need to compensate in the size department, but it’s hard to imagine any guy asking the cashier for the ‘smart size’ condoms: “I saw you had extra large, large, medium, and small sizes, but do you have any smart-sized condoms?”
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Posted in: Chinglish
The Good Greatsby 
She's a Maineiac
October 2, 2011
“Just Fit” must be what the man screams out while desperately putting one on?
The headless creepy man in the top picture is enough to turn most people off from sex in the first place, so well done Retard brand.
The Good Greatsby
October 2, 2011
Isn’t a headless man using a ‘retard’ brand condom the ultimate female fantasy?
Renee Schuls-Jacobson
October 2, 2011
Both of these are very scary. Are the Chinese trying to deter people from having sex? That eagle looks like he could peck someone’s pecker off.
JM Randolph
October 2, 2011
I agree- that eagle is terrifying. I’m not even taking off my coat in front of that guy.
Brown Road Chronicles
October 2, 2011
I don’t know which I would wear, but I would be sure to brush my teeth with that retardex toothpaste you talked about awhile back before partaking in sexual activity.
k8edid
October 2, 2011
A “smart” woman would carry protection in her purse or have some stored in her nightstand. Imagine having to decide whether to hand the gentleman the large size or the smart size? Awkard. Guys, you don’t want that – bring your own.
educlaytion
October 2, 2011
The eagle is a hunter right? Bird of prey ya’ll. Smart too. If I ever go to China the first thing I’ll tell the tour guide is to find Paul because I want to go shopping with you and look at packages. Oh wait…
Girly
October 2, 2011
Okay… soooo, is that a shiny box with your reflection on it??
thelifeofjamie
October 2, 2011
I don’t think I would want to date the guy who chooses smart size, unless of course, he could buy the large size also!
John Erickson
October 2, 2011
More so than the “Smart size” is that the brand name is “Smart Boy”. Do you REALLY want to deal with the guy looking for the “Smart Boy” condoms? 😯
Though I do have to go with Maineiac on the “Just Fit!” concept. Not a good time to have a … shall we say … “wardrobe malfunction”!
gardenmad
October 2, 2011
$118.00!
The Good Greatsby
October 2, 2011
That’s 118 Chinese yuan, which is the equivalent of about $19.
Spectra
October 3, 2011
-yeah, it’s cheaper to buy a Hooker at those prices!
Laura
October 2, 2011
Which brand is more popular — Retard or Smart Boy? And can you buy smart-sized Retard condoms?
John Erickson
October 2, 2011
“Smart-sized Retard”? Wouldn’t that be an oxymoron, like jumbo shrimp or ethical politician?
Redneckprincess
October 2, 2011
Everything about that is wrong…and what the hell are they made of for $118.00???? GOLD??
Spectra
October 3, 2011
– Gold Tipped – for her pleasure ;D
Spectra
October 3, 2011
I mean, if she bites the tips off.
gerknoop
October 2, 2011
The headless man….just can’t get around that ……and I agree with JM Randolph….I would not take a stitch of clothing off around that guy! Talk about a pecker!
Patricia
October 2, 2011
There are contraceptive shops? Are they like sex shops in the states? Not that I have any idea what a sex shop in the states is like…
The Good Greatsby
October 2, 2011
Yes, there are actually quite a few sex shops–I probably have three sex products shops on my street, and I actually live in a pretty nice neighborhood.
pegoleg
October 3, 2011
Was there any reaction to you taking pictures of the Retard Smart Boy condoms?
spilledinkguy
October 3, 2011
The packaging appears to be fairly standard, so I’m guessing it’s probably something like:
Smart Boy – quantity: 24
Just Fit – quantity: 1
pattisj
October 3, 2011
I’m still giggling at the “Just Fit” comments! lol
modestypress
October 6, 2011
I am thinking that a woman would not want her smart boy to use protection, thus increasing the odds of her children being smart children.
HoaiPhai
October 10, 2011
Wow, they really have a great selection over there. Er, did you happen to see the condom equivalent of a padded bra?
Dana
October 28, 2011
“Smart Boy” brand sounds wrong on so many levels– it makes me think of Boy Scouts, who should NOT be needing condoms for many years yet. (And, um, I guess this whole comment makes me sound a bit like a pedophile, thinking about Boy Scouts and all… I’m going to shut up now.)