Sunday Spread

Posted on June 19, 2011

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Happy Father’s Day to you if you’re in a country celebrating Father’s Day and also if you’re a father.

If you’re neither a father nor in a country celebrating Father’s Day, I hope an opportunity to celebrate you for something comes up before too long.  When is Secretary’s Day?

If you’re a father, but not residing in any country, might you be lost at sea?  Let me know how I can help.  I’m a terrific swimmer.

(My wife just informed me this intro might be hurtful to any readers with a father lost at sea on this special day.  My apologies.  I also apologize to any readers whose fathers may not be lost at sea, but once got lost on the way to the sea, thus ruining an anticipated childhood vacation.)

Happy Father’s Day to my dad!  As I became a father I realized how much effort my dad made to spend time with us, even when he was stressed and busy.  One of my early posts called Tough Childhood was inspired by my dad:

I had a tough childhood, mostly because my dad wasn’t around much.
Oftentimes we wouldn’t see him until five or six o’clock in the evenings.
And all day on Saturdays.
Also, all day Sundays.
And he was a teacher at our school, so we ate lunch with him at school, and he had the summers off, so we saw him during the three months of summer vacation when he coached our baseball teams and taught us to swim and helped us build a tree house.
Otherwise, he wasn’t around very much.

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Congratulations to caption contest winner She’s a Maineiac.  Check out her prizes and submit your caption for the new contest here.

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My 9-year-old son is president of his elementary school’s student council.  The last activity of the year the council proposed was going to be a three hour dance on a Friday night lasting until 8:30PM and costing $500.  The administration overruled the Friday night proposal and gave them the last hour of school on a Monday.  The dance was considered a success by all students except my 7-year-old who complained the dance was boring and also too short.  I asked him how it could be boring and too short at the same time.  He didn’t have an answer.

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My wife and kids finished with school this week.  My wife is the librarian and sometimes wears a crown made out of foam that reads: Invisible.  She wears this when she’s finished with her regular teaching periods but kids come up and ask her questions while she’s doing on paperwork and the kids are supposed to direct questions to her assistant.  The child asks, “Do you have any books about princesses?” and my wife answers, “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you because I’m invisible.”  Seems like a good idea, but if it’s so effective at making her invisible, why do all the other teachers at school keep approaching her and asking if they can borrow it?

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There’s no such thing as a stupid question, except, “What’s a question?”

Posted in: Columns