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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All posts tagged under »comedy«
Memorial Memorial Day
Today America celebrates Memorial Day–a day to remember fallen U.S. Service Members. Many Americans will observe the holiday by visiting cemeteries and memorials to the dead. These memorials may take the form of a sculpture, a statue, a plaque, or even an entire park. Just wondering, but is there any interest in creating a Memorial […]
Sunday Salad
May 29, 2011
Our 7-year-old, The Fonz, told my wife with a sigh, “I’m not as cute as I used to be.” My wife assured him he was still very cute. He nodded to acknowledge the compliment, then sighed again, “But still not as cute as I used to be.” He seems awfully young to begin worrying about […]
WWJBD? (What would James Bond do?)
May 26, 2011
It has become common among some Christian groups to greet life’s decisions with the question, “What would Jesus do?” This theological consideration is sometimes turned into the acronym “WWJD?” and printed on bumper stickers, t-shirts, bracelets, and a collection of other tacky clothing I’m pretty sure Jesus would never wear. If Jesus wouldn’t wear that […]
Phone-acting 101
May 24, 2011
Characters in TV and movies talk on the phone much differently than real people. In real life you have the benefit of talking to a live person, but one actor on the phone is charged with carrying on a conversation for two. We can’t tell what the unseen, unheard person is saying, but the actor […]
The End of Days, The End of Oprah
May 23, 2011
Lost in the all the hype over last week’s failed Rapture, was preacher Harold Camping’s very logical reasoning for believing the world would end this week. He hemmed and hawed when asked for specific biblical support, and I assume he was too embarrassed to cite the real reason the world may very well come to […]
Sunday Casserole
May 22, 2011
When I learned global warming would cause ocean levels to rise six feet I got pretty scared. But I decided to look on the bright side and bought soon-to-be beachfront property at six feet above sea level. In 20 to 100 years I’m going to be gob-smackingly rich! ….. This is your last chance to […]
Cloudy with a Chance of Rapture
May 21, 2011
I have a small electronic weather station on my desk, and this morning I was surprised to find the following forecast: Partly cloudy, 20% chance of rain, 10% chance of Rapture You’ve probably heard of the Christian preacher who predicted the Rapture would come today, May 21st. If you’re not familiar with the Rapture, you […]
Can You Be Considered a Success if You’re not Wearing Pants?
May 20, 2011
People ask me how I find time to write this blog every day, and I have to pause and consider whether I truly have “found time” to write this blog every day if I’m writing it while not wearing pants. I’m certain I put on pants when I got out of bed this morning–or maybe […]
Situations When I Will or Will Not Feel Sorry for You
May 19, 2011
Sometimes you get mad at someone, a someone who probably deserves it–like my friend Todd for instance–and after Todd leaves the room my wife whispers, “Today is Todd’s birthday.” Everyone shakes their heads, and I look like a jerk because I got mad at Todd on his special day. Tough luck, Todd! If he had […]
A Letter to Donald Trump from the Rich People Conspiracy
May 18, 2011
Dear Donald Trump, It pains me to write this letter, old chum, especially after the top notch weekend we spent throwing champagne bottles at poor people in Central Park and paying homeless men to kiss, but the vast Rich People Conspiracy asked me to express our concerns. Here’s the predicament, old bean: You’re embarrassing all […]
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The Good Greatsby 
May 30, 2011
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