Memorial Memorial Day

Posted on May 30, 2011


Today America celebrates Memorial Day–a day to remember fallen U.S. Service Members.  Many Americans will observe the holiday by visiting cemeteries and memorials to the dead.  These memorials may take the form of a sculpture, a statue, a plaque, or even an entire park.

Who will memorialize this memorial?

Just wondering, but is there any interest in creating a Memorial Memorial Day, when we could memorialize and remember memorials?  These could be old memorials that have fallen into disrepair or just memorials for events and wars nobody remembers anymore.  Or sometimes a memorial isn’t very popular–like maybe it was just a rusty plaque commemorating some local boys who accidentally signed up to serve in the enemy’s army and also all their names are misspelled–and this plaque is replaced with a shinier plaque which spells the names correctly, and everybody is thrilled with the new plaque, but I still think we have an ethical obligation to remember and memorialize that first plaque and it’s service as a memorial.

The holiday could also encompass a broader concept which includes all memorials or even the human concept of memorializing.  Whatever the form of the holiday, I would prefer special attention be paid to forgotten memorials because it makes me feel tremendous melancholy whenever I visit an old battlefield and can’t find the memorial because it toppled over after years of neglect.  Or because it’s become obscured by vegetation.  Or because it’s not really an old battlefield at all but rather the ocean because somebody gave me bad directions.  Or maybe they gave me good directions but I wasn’t listening because I was thinking about my idea for Memorial Memorial Day.

The day could be spent visiting these forgotten memorials and maybe volunteers could help clean and repair them.  But be careful volunteers, some of these memorials are quite old and could topple over at any time.  If any volunteers are crushed while repairing memorials on Memorial Memorial Day, might I suggest a Memorial to the Memorial Memorial Day Memorializers?

Let’s give the holiday a try.  And if Memorial Memorial Day doesn’t catch on and is eventually discontinued, might I suggest we remember this failed holiday with a Memorial Memorial Day Memorial Day?

Memorial to the Memorial Memorial Day Memorial Day Massacre?

And if Congress isn’t willing to consider my idea for Memorial Memorial Day Memorial Day, perhaps I’ll run for the Senate and filibuster until they’re willing to vote on my holiday.  And maybe the whole country will come to a standstill as government business grinds to a halt, and maybe a foreign power will attack America to force us to go back to work so we can repay all the money we owe everybody, and if some U.S. Service Members are killed in the battle, might I suggest we memorialize their sacrifice with the Memorial to the Memorial Memorial Day Memorial Day Massacre and a holiday called Memorial Memorial Day Memorial Day Massacre Memorial Day?

Whatever shape the holiday ends up taking, might there eventually be a memorial memorializing the creator of Memorial Memorial Day?  Seems like a fitting way to memorialize him, doesn’t it?

Posted in: Columns