My seven-year-old, The Fonz, was telling my wife the sound he hated to hear above all others was the sound of scratchy markers. My wife said there were lots of other things people hated to hear, and The Fonz replied, “You mean like, ‘I don’t love you. I love him,’ or ‘I want a divorce’?” […]
September 30, 2011
World leaders across the globe cancelled government business as planet Earth awaits news of whether Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore will split up. Barack Obama plans to address the nation this evening to discuss signs the couple may be calling it quits, including reports Ashton was caught cheating last weekend during his sixth year wedding […]
September 29, 2011
The baseball regular season is over and with the conclusion of the season comes the end of my fantasy baseball league of which I am the winner. Congratulations are in order, and don’t listen to any naysayers who claim my victory comes with an asterisk because half of the teams in my league were managed […]
September 28, 2011
Today’s question comes from HoaiPhai, who sent me a question during pollen season regarding pollen season. Although pollen season has probably passed (I can’t say for sure because I can’t find pollen season on any official calendar and until I experience hay fever I have to say it certainly sounds like an old wives’ tale), […]
September 26, 2011
I spent much of the past week searching the heavens, baseball mitt in hand, hoping to catch a piece of the falling NASA Upper Atmosphere Research Satellite. The falling satellite had garnered worldwide interest the past few weeks as the public speculated where it would land, and I was disappointed to learn the UARS ultimately […]
September 25, 2011
You may not find this sign very funny at first glance: “CHEER! CHEESE Cheese Cake Factory” But does the sign become funnier when you learn this store sells neither cheese nor cheesecake? My wife loves cheesecake and we both love cheese, so you can imagine our excitement when this store first opened near our house, […]
September 21, 2011
Today’s question comes from gojulesgo of goguiltypleasures.com, who worries her marriage is becoming too equal for her liking. (If gojulesgo sounds familiar, perhaps you’ve heard from your friends Jules has her very own barn.) Dear Good Greatsby, Over the past 8 years, my husband has grown quite spoiled by my wit, generosity and what some […]
September 19, 2011
I have no problem motivating myself to write every day, but I have the bad habit of skipping around between projects when I meet a difficult section and have no pressing deadline. This is why I’m constantly thinking up tricks to give myself artificial deadlines for finishing projects. For example, right now I’m motivating myself […]
October 1, 2011
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