Even More Indifferent State Tourism Slogans

Posted on July 4, 2012


Last year in celebration of America’s Independence Day I did two posts on indifferent state slogans but only covered two-thirds of the states. I now present a comprehensive list of all fifty:

Alabama: Now with universal phone access in 41 of 67 counties.

Alaska: Not the birthplace of Sarah Palin.

Arizona: 47 days without a killer bee attack.

Arkansas: Probably best to consider any loan a gift.

California: Our beauty will take your breath away. Also the pollution.

Colorado: Our capital shares the same name as Gilligan’s Island’s Bob Denver.

Connecticut: ‘Connect’ing Rhode Island and New York since 1788.

Delaware: Experts in giving directions to Maryland, Pennsylvania, or New Jersey.

Florida: There’s more to us than hurricanes. We also lead in tornadoes and lightning strikes.

Georgia: The state, not the country.

Hawaii: Bring your ATM card.

Idaho: Birthplace of the ‘ho’bo.  Also deathplace.

Illinois: The ‘s’ is still silent.

Indiana: We’ll steal your heart, just like we stole Maryland’s football team.

Iowa: We’re also here in non-election years.

Kansas: You’ve got to stop for gas somewhere–why not stop in Kansas?

Kentucky: The state Virginia willingly gave up.

Louisiana: Anyone named Louis or Ana eats free.

Maine: Once part of Massachusetts. How about those Red Sox, Bruins, Celtics, and Patriots?

Maryland: Birthplace of actor David Hasselhoff. Also actor John Wilkes Booth.

Massachusetts: If you’re tired of Harry Potter, you’ll love our history of witch-burning.

Michigan: Make yourself at home. Seriously, please make Michigan your home and convince all your new neighbors to stop leaving.

Minnesota: Brrrrrrr!

Mississippi: Ruining spelling tests since 1817.

Missouri: Pronunciation very similar to the word ‘misery’.

Montana: Not affiliated with Joe Montana.

Nebraska: Do you know where Abraham Lincoln was born? If not, then it was Nebraska.

Nevada: Come to get married, stay to get divorced.

New Hampshire: Named for England’s Hampshire, birthplace of Jane Austen and Charles Dickens.

New Jersey: If you’re on your way to New York, would it kill you to stop and say hi? Maybe.

New Mexico: Like Mexico but newer.

New York: Not as new as when we first named it.

North Carolina: Last state to seceded from the Union, proving our heart was never really in it.

North Dakota: A cut above South Dakota.

Ohio: Birthplace of President Warren G. Harding’s mistress. Also Warren G. Harding.

Oklahoma: Trailblazers for gender equality by leading the nation in female incarceration.

Oregon: Paying more for aluminum cans than any state in the Union.

Pennsylvania: Come see the places where The Philadelphia Story, The Young Philadelphians, and The Philadelphia Experiment were not filmed.

Rhode Island: Not really an island so you can get here by car.

South Carolina: Sister state of Queensland, Australia.

South Dakota: North Dakota is closed for repairs.

Tennessee: You’ll be surprised what we’re willing to volunteer for.

Texas: If you’ve got some time to kill, why not kill it in the state that executes more criminals than any other?

Utah: Like Nevada without gambling or liquor.

Vermont: If you’re surprised by our low birth-rate, you probably haven’t seen our women.

Virginia: Birthplace of 8 US Presidents–4 of them good!

Washington: Similar to Oregon but without the 5 cent can recycling incentive.

West Virginia: Turn left when you get to Virginia.

Wisconsin: Fictional home of television’s Happy Days.

Wyoming: Come for the sagebrush, stay also for the sagebrush.

Posted in: Columns