Happy Birthday, Apollo Fonzarelli #2

In our family, my wife and I show our love through teasing, because it’s a lot faster than helping with homework or taking them to the dentist. I tease the ones I love, which is why my wife should take comfort in knowing I never tease the women I flirt with at the gym.

When The Fonz turns eight years old tomorrow, we’ll let him know hom much we love him by teasing him the whole day long. I’ve compiled a list of teasing plans for his big day and I’d like readers to vote on their favorites. I plan on doing at least two or three.

A. We have some pizza boxes we keep under the couch for teasing purposes. After telling him we can’t afford pizza for his birthday, we’ll leave the boxes out when we go to bed so he sees them Friday morning.

B. A birthday cake with seven candles instead of eight. When he points out the mistake, my wife and I will exchange a confused look and then consult his birth certificate for confirmation.

C. Have him unwrap a collar and a leash. After he gets excited, tell him this is his chance to prove he’s responsible enough to have a dog by taking the cat for a walk every day for a year.

D. Loosen the door handle in his bathroom so the doorknob comes off and he thinks he’s stuck in the bathroom right before his party starts.

E. Give him a card with his older brother’s name and age crossed out and his name misspelled.

Happy 10th 8th Birthday Optimist Prime Apollo Fonzasmelly!

F. Pretend to receive a phone call asking if he can come to the dentist for an emergency cavity filling.

G. Send him to school with a stack of invites to his birthday party, but only write the name of his crush, Whatshername, on each invitation.

H. Send him to school with bran muffins to share with his classmates.

I. Fill the party goody bag he gives out to his friends with coupons for free music lessons.

J. “I must have misheard because instead of a magician I hired a mathematician.”

Read last year’s birthday post: Happy Birthday, Apollo Fonzarelli!