I saw this picture of a crowded train of Muslims heading home for a religious festival.
At first I felt bad they had to ride in such uncomfortable conditions, but I heard the in-train entertainment featured an outstanding stand-up comedian and the time just flew by:
Hello, ladies and gentleman, I know I’m supposed to be a stand-up comedian, but I couldn’t sit down if I wanted to.
Hey, pal, if you’re gonna put your elbow in my back, your hand on my leg, and your leg on my shoulder, you could at least buy me dinner first.
If this is first class, makes you wonder what coach is like.
What’s the deal with airline food? Also, what’s an airline?
Psst! Hey, buddy. I think that girl over there likes you. You should go talk to her. I’ll talk to her friend so the two of you can have a moment alone.
I’m gonna get up and stretch my legs; will you save my seat? Yes, I know I was sitting on your lap, but still, will you save my seat?
This bathroom line hasn’t moved forever. What’s that you say? I’m not even in the bathroom line?
Sometimes I just feel so lonely. I wish I had someone to talk to.
I’m not gonna to argue with you over this armrest. I was resting my arm on this guy’s arm long before you.
Sir, could you move to the side? Rail regulations require the maximum occupancy sign be prominently displayed at all times.
The train management has asked me to point out the emergency exits. In case of emergency, please exit there or there or there or there or, well, basically anywhere because we’re on the roof, people!
*****
Be sure and take a ride on over to the caption contest page and submit a caption.
The Good Greatsby 
Michelle Gillies
April 16, 2012
I thought the GO Trains in Toronto were bad! It’s all about perspective.
Of course if I was on top of those rapid transit GO Trains I’m sure my perspective would be more like a wind sock.
The Good Greatsby
April 16, 2012
As long as I’m riding on the inside of the train, things don’t seem so bad.
Tor Constantino, MBA (@torcon)
April 16, 2012
So I guess the rule of keeping hands and feet inside the train car at all times kinda flew out the window…
The Good Greatsby
April 16, 2012
I think any restrictions on the placement of hands or legs must fly right out the window.
spilledinkguy
April 16, 2012
But sesriously, folks… take my seat…
please.
The Good Greatsby
April 16, 2012
He’ll be here all week.
susielindau
April 16, 2012
I love, “and your leg on my shoulder.” This is so funny. How do they not fall off the top of the train? isn’t it always really rocky alongside the tracks? Where are the bathrooms? Okay I am really stressing out now… 🙂
The Good Greatsby
April 16, 2012
I’ve been on a lot of trains and there are always jolting moments that cause you to stumble when you’re trying to use the bathroom; I have no idea how people could keep from falling off the roof.
She's a Maineiac
April 16, 2012
What the? I was just on B-man’s blog mentioning how I am too lazy to be a stand up comedian. Have I slipped into some sort of blogging time warp? (looking nervously around room)
Hysterical as always, GG. God, I am getting so tired of saying that to you, you’d think you’d realize this by now.
The Good Greatsby
April 17, 2012
I’m too lazy to even think of a reason why I could never be a stand-up comedian.
She's a Maineiac
April 17, 2012
Oh, you are good, Greatsby.
little blog of happy
April 16, 2012
I thought I had problems when the old guy next to me on the bus nodded off and his head rested on my shoulder. Or was it when I nodded off and started drooling a bit……? Doesn’t seem so bad now. Like the lady says, it’s all about perspective……….
bearmancartoons
April 16, 2012
Is this the last train to Clarksville?
Jackie Cangro
April 16, 2012
Flying to Amsterdam in coach today. I guess “leg room” is a relative term.
The Good Greatsby
April 16, 2012
Doesn’t seem so bad now, does it?
Jamie
April 17, 2012
Can’t wait to see the dining car!
Laura
April 17, 2012
Something is seriously wrong with this double-decker bus.
gojulesgo
April 17, 2012
This picture gives me major anxiety, and I’m not even claustrophobic!
BTW, Paul, how’s your back?? Been meaning to ask you! …Man. Sorry for the overall downer comment.
The Good Greatsby
April 19, 2012
My back is feeling much better. I’ve been at 90% for about a week. I’ll be pushing people around again in no time.
Thomas Stazyk
April 17, 2012
Overheard among the people sitting on the tracks: “I’m sick and tired of the 1% getting to ride the train while the rest of us have to sit here.”
The Good Greatsby
April 19, 2012
Ha! That’s perfect.
prttynpnk
April 17, 2012
So I says, ‘Closer? Closer? Any closer lady and I’d be behind you!” yah, I got a million of ’em..
Rob Rubin
April 17, 2012
Man, an Old Spice salesman could make a killing there…Assuming people had money..or wallets…or the ability to maneuver the arm enough to reach into their pants for their wallets.
Sincerely,
Me
http://themainland.net/i-wonder-what-its-like-to-be-gay/
1pointperspective
April 17, 2012
Oh yeah? Well I’m a lawyer, and you don’t see me screwing the guy in front of me do ya?
pattisj
April 17, 2012
Must be tourist season.
List of X
April 17, 2012
I don’t know which country is that, but I think their idea of paradise is a train with available seats
Life in the Boomer Lane
April 17, 2012
OK, so you are one of the funniest people on the planet. Moving along: There is a Mumbai railroad scene in the novel Shantaram, which will be forever crazy-glued to my brain and it looks EXACTLY like that photo. It describes how people freakin’ pay large men with strong legs to carry them on their backs through the crowd and kick people aside so then can get to the train. And how people literally beat each other into a coma over seats. Then, when the train actually leaves the station, everyone is all polite and smiling and deferential.
The Good Greatsby
April 19, 2012
But it still almost seems preferrable to air travel.
HoaiPhai
April 17, 2012
Are you sure this isn’t just the line up for some new Apple iProduct that’s due to come out?
The Good Greatsby
April 19, 2012
People are willing to go to great lengths to get a very slightly better version of what they already have.
Meghna Yadav
April 18, 2012
Hi there! You know, i am an indian girl and i live in mumbai and i can’t possibly describe to you all the ugly wars i have had to fight to get a seat in a local train! In long distance trains, it’s perfectly fine but in local trains…ugh!! Going through all that shit makes you stronger and also smellier and dirtier (:P) …It’s like when i am not in a local train, i am a nice sweet girl who eats junk food and listens to rock, but once inside a local train… i turn into a ninja. Kicking and punching and throwing old ladies out of the train, all so i can get a seat. It makes me so proud of myself :).