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Paul Johnson's comedy blog: I didn't get into comedy to be rich or famous. All I've ever wanted was to be loved…by somebody rich and famous.
Browsing All posts tagged under »birthday«
The Fonz’s Birthday Revue Review
The Fonz called his 8th birthday his best ever. He started the day bounding down the steps while singing, “Giddy-eight, giddy-eight, giddy-eight, eight, eight!” to the tune of the William Tell Overture. We managed a fair amount of teasing, including telling him we had hired a ‘mathematician’ for his party after mishearing his request of […]
Happy Birthday, Apollo Fonzarelli #2
April 18, 2012
In our family, my wife and I show our love through teasing, because it’s a lot faster than helping with homework or taking them to the dentist. I tease the ones I love, which is why my wife should take comfort in knowing I never tease the women I flirt with at the gym. When […]
Cutting the Cheese is a Cinnamon for Passing Gas
February 18, 2012
A Sentence Parsing: How can children seem so very smart and so very not smart at the same time? I’ve developed an elaborate system for quantifying my children’s statements to determine whether I should be worried or not. I applied this system to the following: At the dinner table Optimist Prime asked Mrs. Greatsby to […]
Dreams that Won’t Come True After 33
August 30, 2011
Tomorrow I celebrate my 33rd birthday by boarding a plane back to Shanghai. I feel a bit cheated that I’ll be traveling east and the change in time zones will cut significant time from my birthday. If my calculations are correct, my birthday will only last 19 hours. Where will these 5 hours go? Somebody owes […]
Situations When I Will or Will Not Feel Sorry for You
May 19, 2011
Sometimes you get mad at someone, a someone who probably deserves it–like my friend Todd for instance–and after Todd leaves the room my wife whispers, “Today is Todd’s birthday.” Everyone shakes their heads, and I look like a jerk because I got mad at Todd on his special day. Tough luck, Todd! If he had […]
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