Sunday Appetizers

Posted on July 10, 2011


Our seven-year-old, The Fonz, asked his mom, “If you had a zillion dollars would you spend it all on make-up?”

She laughed but never answered.  I assume she’s still thinking about it.


My wife said she needed a new philosophy for dealing with people because she felt she was too much of a pushover.  I told her, “No you don’t.”

She answered, “I don’t?”


If your summer vacation is kind of slow, it might be fun to vote in the caption contest twice a day for the next week.  Click here to make your summer dreams come true.


One night this week The Fonz suspected he had a robber hiding under his bed.  He had two reasons for his suspicions:

1. His balcony sliding door was unlocked.  (I had unlocked it earlier in the day.)

2. His brother suspected someone had eaten some of the Cap’n Crunch cereal he had received as a birthday present.

Honey, I think someone is downstairs eating cereal.

I like to imagine a robber eating Cap’n Crunch as quietly as possible while we slept.  I imagine my wife shaking me in the middle of the night, whispering, “Wake up!  Did you hear that?  I think someone downstairs is eating extremely crunchy cereal.”

The theft of Cap’n Crunch may not seem like a big deal to you, but we live in Shanghai where Cap’n Crunch is imported and costs $13 a box.  Each son selects a box of cereal for birthdays and Christmas, and it’s the only time they get sugary cereal.


Today I started rehearsals for a new play to be performed in August.  Every time I start a play I tell the actress playing my love interest the same thing: Don’t fall in love me.

And it works every time.


One sentence short story:

You might laugh at me for crying while I eat this mango, but did I mention a witch transformed my best friend into this mango?

Posted in: Columns