More Indifferent State Tourism Slogans: Now 50% More Slogany

Posted on July 4, 2011


Happy birthday, America!  I got you a card but I wasn’t sure where to send it.

Allow me to apologize for sullying your reputation by trying to settle all arguments both home and abroad with a chant of “USA!  USA!  USA!”

Now for a selection of even indifferenter, fat-freer, low calorierer,  state tourism slogans:

Alabama: Now with universal phone access in 41 of 67 counties.

Arkansas: Probably best to consider any loan a gift.

California: Our beauty will take your breath away.  Also the pollution.

Colorado: Our capital shares the same name as Gilligan’s Island’s Bob Denver.

Idaho: Birthplace of the ‘ho’bo.  Also deathplace.

Illinois: The ‘s’ is still silent.

Kentucky: The state Virginia willingly gave up.

Michigan: Make yourself at home.  Seriously, please make Michigan your home and convince all your new neighbors to stop leaving.

Missouri: Pronunciation very similar to the word ‘misery’.

Pennsylvania: Come see the places where The Philadelphia Story, The Young Philadelphians, and The Philadelphia Experiment were not filmed.

South Carolina: Sister state of Queensland, Australia.

South Dakota: North Dakota is closed for repairs.

Posted in: Columns